ABC Reaches Out -- "Good Christian Bitches"

ABC has picked up the  pilot program "Good Christian Bitches" , (GCB) in which a divorced woman in Texas is stalked and menaced by bigoted religious fundamentalists.

I don't see what all you damn teabaggers are whining about.  This show is the keystone of an exciting, fascinating  evening line-up ABC is counting on to renew its connection to the American heartland and its advertising dollars.


According to Daily Variety, the rest of the night's lineup is scheduled to include:


THOSE FABULOUS FAGS — A dramedy set in the heady days of the HRC's campaign to help pass Obamacare, while it comically cancels medical benefits for same-sex partners of its employees because they're too expensive.  It's the "Mad Men" for men mad about men!


THAT WONDERFUL WELFARE QUEEN — She's a smart and sassy street Mama stickin' it to the man while several men stick it to her so she and her kids can scam the system for every benefit they can get! Featuring the return to series TV of Scoey Mitchll as the compassionately acerbic "poverty pimp" activist Danny Bakewell!


OH, FATHER, DEAR FATHER — In a real coup, ABC has stolen Denis Leary away from FX to play a wisecracking pedophile priest who constantly finds new — and hilarious — ways around the clueless parents of his congregation to get at their kids!  It's a miracle of transubstantiation those altar boys never expected to witness!


As you can see, ABC is sparing no expense to establish itself as the go-to network for mainstream America!  So lighten up people, and let them tell you what to think...

Frumley Brooks, Esq., Mainsteam Conservative Pundit, Inveigles Against Offend-a-Feminist Week

In accordiance with the Brooks family motto since time immemorial, "Uno dies tardus quod uno denarius brevis" ("a day late and a dollar short") Mr. Brooks laments the latest insensitivity on the part of the American conservative movement:

"Rightwing blogger Robert Stacey McCain, a Washington functionary who has made a promising career of being mistaken for a distinguished Republican Senator, has taken the next sorry, inevitable step in the ruination of the conservative movement with his deliberate and deliberately offensive eponymous campaign to alienate middle-of-the-road women.

"Plainly, the mainstream women of America have made their choice, and it is incumbent upon us to adapt to it if the conservative movement is to survive.  We need to understand exactly where we are going wrong if we as conservatives continue to prefer this:

to this:

"Until we understand the message of empowerment and fulfilment women are sending us with this choice, we will suffer for it at the ballot box.

"We need to understand why women given a choice between  portraits of female accomplishment and achievement, reject this:

...in favor of this:
"We need to understand the important cultural message we are being sent when the middle-of-the-road majority applauds the free speech of a modern progressive woman:

...and rejects the firebrand rantings of an old-school reactionary who has the temerity to answer an unrehearsed question in public:

"Until we understand and embrace the demands the middle-of-the-road is placing upon us, until we learn to make room for their newer and sophisticated standards, I fear they will never let us join them."