Operation Gratitude Care Package Weekend!

Showing posts with label smitty. Show all posts
Showing posts with label smitty. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Breaking Afghanistan News: Cheney Denies All Knowledge of Smitty!











Jamil al-Taqqiyah is a fiery young nonpartisan
journalist who regularly reports
for NBC, Al-Jazeera and the BBC.
Three Beers Later is proud to offer him
his first blogging venue.





Notorious former Vice President Dick Cheney today disavowed any knowledge of Lt. Commander Smitty, late of Afghanistan and back at his nominal post at The Other McCain:
"WHAT THE F***?!  Who have you been talking to?
Where did you hear that s***?  You WILL tell me..."
Cheney denied reports that Smitty had in fact been part of a crucial action in the Afghan theatre, as part of an elite detachment from Seal Team Hat Size Six, the covert special operations unit repeatedly outed by principled leftwing bloggers as the Vice President's personal assassination squad, but since redeemed in the public eye of all decent Americans by President for Life Obama's willingness to let them assist Our Glorious Leader in his heroic take-down of Osama bin Laden.
Mothers, look away, for this is Death,
naked.
Lt. Commander Smith, seen below on the prow of his personal flagship, led a spirited naval action that comprehensively reduced the Taliban's naval capacity in the Afghan mountain districts.
No less distinguished a publication than "Soundings", the journal of the American Naval Institute, writes, "Not since the heroic transvestites of the Royal Navy drove the Kaiser's fleets from Lake Tanganyika during the First World War to give us a great Humphrey Bogart movie has a naval exploit had such an inexplicable impact."
Below, the gallant officer explains his triumph in his own inimitable words: 
When asked what such an indomitable warrior as this unstoppable killing engine might be doing back in the United States, Cheney merely replied coyly: "With an asset like Smitty, I imagine you wouldn't send him somewhere his skills weren't needed..."

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Smitty on Ikea and the Future of Retail...

Smitty over at Robert Stacy McCain briefly interrupts the soliciting wholly justified assault and battery to explore a revolutionary development in retail: The Ikea Man-Cave.

Oh. My. God. Is this a brilliant idea.  Gals, Ladies, Sisters, Womyn, whatever, you have no idea what you're doing to us when you drag us along shopping with you.  You have no idea how you are messing with our heads.  It's not that we don't understand the nuances of comparing the colors of twelve separate tops you're not going to buy.
It's not that we don't appreciate the aesthetics of which of those six shades of base disagrees with your skin color the least, even if you've bought them all at one time or another.


It's not that men don't appreciate fashion, and hair, and cosmetics.  It's not like we don't use them.



But for the last five thousand years, everytime we've had to worry about our hair and make-up, we've had to go out and kill something immediately thereafter...








So whenever you drag us out shopping with you...



YOU'RE SENDING US SOME VERY MIXED MESSAGES!


Note: Edited 1st para to correctly reflect Smitty's authorship, not Stacy's.  My bad.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

A THREE BEERS LATER EXCLUSIVE: SMITTY'S SERVICE VIDEO!

In honor of his upcoming deployment to Afghanistan, TBL is proud to present this EXCLUSIVE video, TORN from the steaming pages of Wikileaks, a record of then-Commander Smitty counseling a wayward crewmember in need of command guidance.



Three Beers Later wishes the men and women of Smitty's proud new command a safe and successful deployment.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

A SAILOR IN AFGHANISTAN?


Smitty, the brains behind the operation at The Other McCain, has been reactivated for naval staff duty in Kabul, Afghanistan.

And here I thought Ron Paul was full of it with all that letter of marque and reprisal talk.

As someone who was told to come back when I was a few years younger on 9/12 (apparently the Army didn't need 50+ yr old infantry lieutenants), I wish Smitty all the best and envy him the hard year ahead.

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