Glenn Beck Steps On Own Dick, Recognizes Shoe

And halfway apologizes for linking Scott Brown and Chandra Levy one day after landmark election.

Warns us not to be "humorless scolds."

Glenn, you don't tell obscene jokes about a bride at her own wedding unless you're drunk.  You don't compare Scott Brown, a true candidate of the people, who knocked off a Senate seat owned by a genuine woman killing misogynist, to a philanderer who impeded the murder investigation of his mistress, on Brown's election day, unless your judgment is similarly impaired.

Ya fucked up.  Learn it, love it, own it, because the left is going to be throwing it back in all our faces for years... as in "Well, Glenn Beck said... "

UPDATE:  (5:00 pm Saturday)  Oops, it's started already: The New York Times quotes Glenn Beck on Scott Brown... to defend Keith Olbermann's attack on Scott Brown.  Smooth move, Glenn... you've provided cover for Ted Kennedy AND Keith Olbermann with one lip.  That's an achievement. (HT: Dan Riehl)

Wow.  Glenn Beck and Charles Johnson in the NYT in the same week.  What a banner day for the conservative blogosphere...

RULE 5 OH NO! SCOTT BROWN'S WIFE DID A ROCK VIDEO!

And she wore a BIKINI! (HT: Ace of Spades)

And his daughters wear BIKINIS!

Why Doesn't Glenn Beck PROTECT Us From This Stuff?

This could cost us the all-important Baptist tightass vote in 2010!

(HT: The Other McCain)

Face it, Democrats, our wives, our daughters, our candidates

are hotter than your mistresses:

And our mistresses just make you cry:

AND we don't need to have the Arkansas State Police or Secret Service drag them in for us, either!

Oh, well, maybe you can all have a good weep with Glenn Beck...

WHAT CAN BROWN DO FOR YOU?

When you need to send a message overnight, and make it stick...

GO BROWN

Cool Scott Brown Facts

When Scott Brown passes Dick Cheney in the street... Cheney acknowledges his existence.
The reason they haven't made any more of those 'most interesting man in the world' beer commercials is because Scott Brown wouldn't grow the beard back.
Jack Bauer got the job because Scott Brown didn't see why he'd need more than 21 hours, tops,
Scott Brown once arm-wrestled Sarah Palin...to a draw.
After Scott Brown talked to Steven Spielberg, Spielberg was cured of his daddy and abandonment issues and went back to making good movies.
Scott Brown eats delta smelt sandwiches.
When George Washington crossed the Delaware, Scott Brown towed his boat... with THE TRUCK.
Ted Kennedy has never appeared in a zombie movie because Scott Brown told him to lay the hell back down.  Now.
Jethro Gibbs lets Scott Brown slap people on the head for him.
Ziva David sniffs Scott Brown's hair when she thinks he won't notice.  Scott Brown notices everything.
Abby does his TurboTax for him... for free.
Scott Brown doesn't use Axe deodorant... he's a donor.

That's One...

And so the oldest, and arguably the foulest political dynasty ever foisted off on this Republic is reduced to one drunken, pill-popping freak in Rhode Island...

My full and unqualified congratulations both to that outnumbered band of conservatives in Massachusetts who have held their principles firm in the face of overwhelming numbers and even abandonment by their own party, and to all those Democrats and independent Massachusetts voters who realized there was no future in following Barack Obama and the Democratic Party machine deeper into moral and fiscal bankruptcy.  We welcome you back to the political life of this wonderful country, and look forward to working with you to make it again the shining triumph it was always meant to be.

This was not a GOP victory tonight.  If it had been left to the GOP, to Michael Steele and John Cornyn, Scott Brown would have vanished into obscurity and Ms. Coakley would have waltzed into Washington uncontested.

This was, yes, a victory for the 'tea baggers,' the scorned, mocked American men and women from all parties and no party who came together to reject the politics of the insiders club in DC, GOP and Democrat, to reject the trading of favors paid for by our security, our solvency and our children's futures, to reject the notion of government by the mutal consent of well-placed incompetents who understand their own arcane parliamentary games and nothing else about this magnificent, diverse, yes, exceptional nation.

And so to Nancy Pelosi, to Harry Reid, yes, to Michael Steele and especially to that jug-eared store mannequin in the Oval Office, I say again, "That's one...

...and she's just the first."

Barack Obama: "Think about getting in a truck with Coakley's opponent..."

Well, for one thing, he'd probably keep it out of the water, asshole.

Unlike some folks we could mention...

"Think about getting in a car with a Democrat..."

And in honor of Mr. Brown...

Chris Dodd Digs Up Dead Ted for Coakley!

Outgoing Connecticut Senator Chris Dodd, the oldest livimg sexual predator in the US Senate, driven from office by his disastrous support of junk mortgages and Obamacare, has sent around a warm, personalized e-mail evoking that drunken whoremonger, philanderer and womankiller Ted Kennedy to encourage Democrats to save Martha Coakley's bigoted, corrupt, incompetent ass for old times' sake... there is something pathological about Dodd's determination to do as much damage to this country as he can before he leaves office...

"Dear RICHARD,
Health care was the cause of my friend Ted Kennedy's life. So it sickens me that the Republican running to take Ted's place is vowing to be the 41st vote to kill health care reform."

"Health Care was the cause of my friend Ted Kennedy's life."
"It's still sometimes hard to believe he's not here - we worked together for almost 30 years." 

...we worked together for almost 30 years...

"I can think of no better way to honor his service than to make sure Martha takes his place and provides the 60th vote for health care reform. We owe it to Ted to make it happen."

Sincerely,

Chris Dodd

I can think of several ways, but I'm pretty sure Beelzebub has beat me to them.  Oh, well, Dodd will see for himself in his time.