Operation Gratitude Care Package Weekend!

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Rule 5 — t.A.T.u

Kind thoughts for Deborah Leigh...

She got T-boned last weekend in the car she'd bought just three weeks ago.  The VA finally figgered out Friday that she has a concussion so she's spending the weekend off her feet.  Drop her a get-well-soon here.

The Occupy Anthem!


Dear kindly Sergeant Krupke,
You gotta understand,
It's just our bringin' up-ke
That gets us out of hand.
Our mothers all are junkies,
Our fathers all are drunks.
Golly Moses, natcherly we're punks!
Gee, Officer Krupke, we're very upset; 
We never had the love that ev'ry child oughta get. 
We ain't no delinquents, 
We're misunderstood. 
Deep down inside us there is good! 
There is good! 
There is good, there is good, 
There is untapped good! 
Like inside, the worst of us is good! 
SNOWBOY: (Spoken) That's a touchin' good story. 
ACTION: (Spoken) Lemme tell it to the world! 
SNOWBOY: Just tell it to the judge. 
Dear kindly Judge, your Honor, 
My parents treat me rough. 
With all their marijuana, 
They won't give me a puff. 
They didn't wanna have me, 
But somehow I was had. 
Leapin' lizards! That's why I'm so bad! 
DIESEL: (As Judge) Right! 
Officer Krupke, you're really a square; 
This boy don't need a judge, he needs an analyst's care! 
It's just his neurosis that oughta be curbed. 
He's psychologic'ly disturbed! 
I'm disturbed! 
We're disturbed, we're disturbed, 
We're the most disturbed, 
Like we're psychologic'ly disturbed. 
DIESEL: (Spoken, as Judge) In the opinion on this court, this child is depraved on account he ain't had a normal home. 
ACTION: (Spoken) Hey, I'm depraved on account I'm deprived. 
DIESEL: So take him to a headshrinker. 
ACTION (Sings) 
My father is a bastard, 
My ma's an S.O.B. 
My grandpa's always plastered, 
My grandma pushes tea. 
My sister wears a mustache, 
My brother wears a dress. 
Goodness gracious, that's why I'm a mess! 
A-RAB: (As Psychiatrist) Yes! 
Officer Krupke, you're really a slob. 
This boy don't need a doctor, just a good honest job. 
Society's played him a terrible trick, 
And sociologic'ly he's sick! 
I am sick! 
We are sick, we are sick, 
We are sick, sick, sick, 
Like we're sociologically sick! 
A-RAB: In my opinion, this child don't need to have his head shrunk at all. Juvenile delinquency is purely a social disease! 
ACTION: Hey, I got a social disease! 
A-RAB: So take him to a social worker! 
Dear kindly social worker, 
They say go earn a buck. 
Like be a soda jerker, 
Which means like be a schumck. 
It's not I'm anti-social, 
I'm only anti-work. 
Gloryosky! That's why I'm a jerk! 
BABY JOHN: (As Female Social Worker) 
Officer Krupke, you've done it again. 
This boy don't need a job, he needs a year in the pen. 
It ain't just a question of misunderstood; 
Deep down inside him, he's no good! 
I'm no good! 
We're no good, we're no good! 
We're no earthly good, 
Like the best of us is no damn good! 
DIESEL (As Judge) 
The trouble is he's crazy. 
A-RAB (As Psychiatrist) 
The trouble is he drinks. 
BABY JOHN (As Female Social Worker) 
The trouble is he's lazy. 
The trouble is he stinks. 
The trouble is he's growing. 
The trouble is he's grown. 
Krupke, we got troubles of our own! 
Gee, Officer Krupke, 
We're down on our knees, 
'Cause no one wants a fellow with a social disease. 
Gee, Officer Krupke, 
What are we to do? 
Gee, Officer Krupke, 
Krup you! 

Music by Leonard Bernstein, lyrics by Stephen Sondheim.
© 1956, 1957 Amberson Holdings LLC and Stephen Sondheim. Copyright renewed.
Leonard Bernstein Music Publishing Company LLC, Publisher. 

OK... Time to cut the cheese out of the diet, I guess...

Thursday, October 20, 2011

!FACTS! Prove Jesus Was a Democrat!

Sorry, but there it is...

1.  He was born and lived a Jew.  Jews historically vote predominantly Democrat.
2.  He had an inordinate fondness for taxes and big government, as in "render unto Caesar..."
3.  He was hostile to banks and small business, as witnessed by His behavior with the money lenders and merchants in the Temple.
4.  He spent His last days hanging out with convicted felons.
5.  When he died He went straight to Hell.  That should prove it right there, but...
6.  When He got there, He changed the rules so He and His supporters got off scot free...

The !EVIDENCE! seems conclusive...

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Pre-Production Begins on "Downfall II"

White House digging enormous pit behind West Wing, construction rumored to be connected to expansion of the Presidential Bunker...
Sooner or later, it always comes down to bunkers...
President Obama, shown here rehearsing his interpretation
of the "War is Lost"  Downfall rant 
so popular with YouTube parodists.

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Stutterin' John Obama...

Somewhere Howard Stern is missing a sidekick...  It. Just. Doesn't. Stop.  It's like watching the last speech of Randolph Churchill...

List of Information, Implication and Insinuation

Three Beers Later!

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