"To my surprise, it turned out it simply to be some sort of musical event... a Freedom Concert Tour... Nevertheless, there was ample evidence on display of the waning of primitive conservative thought in this great moderate nation of ours...
"The dwindling acceptance of conservative values by the American public was reflected in this meagre line of attendees for "radio personality" Marc Levin (who insists on mispronouncing his own last name,a singular affectation of the lower sorts) signing his Liberty and Tyranny, now sliding into its deserved obscurity after a scant five months on the New York Times Bestseller List... the line barely stretched around the facility...
"...while the 12,000 seat Cricket Wireless Amphitheatre, formerly the Coors Amphitheatre before sophisticated Americans learned to seek more nuanced beverages, was only barely sold out, with every seat only just filled before showtime...
"As the evening wore on into a twilight evocative of the fading of the brand of reactionary thought being scorned by all the right people on both coasts, the gullible audience was subjected to harangues by the aforementioned Mr. Levin, Colonel Oliver North, whose lack of martial credentials is clearly reflected in the CNN's failure to hire him as a commentator, another "personality" named Sean Hannity, who apparently has something to do with the presentation of these events, a "celebrity" trollop named Carrie Prejean, who seems most famous for not knowing when it is unacceptable to talk back to her betters, and various wounded veterans for whom the audience expressed an inexplicable sympathy in spite of their drain on the public exchequer as a result of their own un fortunate career choices...
"There were also various musical interludes. A rural gentleman familiarly addressed as "Charley" made several attempts upon a "fiddle" and guitar...
"...while other performers said to include a Michael W. Smith, Billy Ray Cyrus, and Lee Greenwood were charitably received by the unlettered audience...
"The continuing existence of these events is only to be regretted by the informed conservative, as they only serve to continue to refute their attendees' deserved sense of isolation and reinforce the dated values to which they cling. The only thing to be said in its favor was the continued absence of Sarah Palin...
"Perhaps Mr. Obama might well take some time off from his inspiring medical ruminations to consider taking some action towards them."
Frumley Brooks, Esq., as he appeared moments before
the head injury that led him to embrace
moderate conservatism...
