Operation Gratitude Care Package Weekend!

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

OBAMA SOLVES GULF COAST CRISIS...

...with exciting new "Oil for Clunkers" program!  The Administration is proposing to pile all the scrapped automobiles the government ordered destroyed under the "Cash for Clunkers" scheme on top of the out of control BP oil leak, using the millions of tons of wasted machinery to block the upflow of oil.

"It will be the mother of all junk shots," explained Obama during a brief stop at the nineteenth hole.

"The Administration's plan is to use a manufactured crisis to resolve a manufactured crisis," said WH Spokesman Robert Gibss.  "Sure, it's ugly as hell, but you have to remember that the White House is nowhere near Louisiana, and anyway, they voted for a Republican governor so they really had to expect this."

When reporters suggested this plan might be a hasty and ill-conceived PR stunt, Gibbs disagreed. " I can assure you with complete accuracy that we have given this plan as much thought and effort as we gave the Tennessee flood relief effort."

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

They'll have to use older cars because there aren't enough Smart cars or Mini Coopers to plug anything. The strength of the oil would cause a Smart or Mini to breach the surface in such a way that it might be construed by our adversaries as a the launch of a new weapon. But it would be funny to be in their radar room.

Deborah Leigh

Anonymous said...

How about asking Al Gore to sacrifice for Mama Gaia. And just to make sure, Michael Moore could be sent along to cover the plugging for a new "documentary". I'm sure that the soon-to-be former Mrs. Gore would approve.

OT Now that Al and the missus are splitting, why does he need such a spacious spread in tony Montecito, CA?

Deborah Leigh

Anonymous said...

I wonder how the Pentagon Brass feel about having a Commander-in-Chief who has never even achieved the level of experience of a roadside fruit-stand manager before 'assuming' command? If Robert Gibbs can continue to get up and deliver his briefings with a straight face, as only he can, and we have not yet had a military coup take place, then all hope is nearly lost.

Welcome to the world of Affirmative Action politicians. They start at the top and work their way down. Just like the Peter Principle, only in the inverse.

Shame on you Raaacists for your raaacist thoughts.

List of Information, Implication and Insinuation

Three Beers Later!

    follow me on Twitter

    Blog Archive