Paul Ryan Attacked by Rare Leaping Manatee at Iowa State Fair!

GOP VP designate Paul Ryan today barely escaped injury to today at the gums of a rare aggressive manatee at the Iowa State Fair.

Although the manatee is normally a passive, inert mass of blubber that mostly lays around waiting to be fed, this one, which appeared to be one of a mating pair, leaped several feet out of the water onto the podium with Rep. Ryan before being subdued.

Fish  & Game personnel who restrained the manatee speculated that it may have been reacting to a perceived threat to what it considered its entitled feeding grounds.

Reports are the manatees will be tagged and released back into the wild.