White House Solves Tax, Openness Crisis

WHITE HOUSE PRESS SECRETARY ROBERT GIBBS: "Ladies and gentlemen, a large part of the American electorate -- mostly obstructionist Republicans, of course -- has expressed some concern over the minor financial and record-keeping lapses of certain of the President's Cabinet and Administration positions. To allay those concerns, the White House has formulated a new policy fully in keeping with its commitment to openness and accountability to adress this issue.

"We're not going to tell you any more."

PRESS CORPS NEWBIE: "Mr. Gibbs, what exactly are you saying?

GIBBS: "What I just said. In the future this Administration will not be informing you about these minor lapses."

NEWBIE: "How can you possibly square that with President Obama's commitment to openness?"

GIBBS: "We're telling you we won't tell you, aren't we? Jesus, Scott McClellan was right, you people are so needy..."