WE PROVIDE MORE SHADE!

Fat People Blamed for Global Warming!

British scientists say they use up more fuel to transport them around and the amount of food they eat requires more energy to produce than that consumed by those on smaller diets.

According to a team at the London School of Hygiene & Tropical Medicine this adds to food shortages and higher energy prices.

Researchers Phil Edwards said: “We are all becoming heavier and it is a global responsibility. Obesity is a key part of the big picture." (Daily Telegraph)

Well, as anybody who has seen my videos below knows, I am ALL about the big picture.

And big pictures mean... that's right!...

BIG PROFIT OPPORTUNITIES!

What am I talking about?

It's the latest investment opportunity of the Global Warming Era!

CARBOHYDRATE CREDITS!

That's right! Carbo-Credits!  It's so simple it ought to be illegal!

Here's how it works:

Persons of, er, substance pay less substantial people to stay skinny, to offset our exuberant circumferences!

This allows many of the diameter-challenged to earn valuable cash benefits, people like

Fashion Models!

Celebrities!

And People Who Already Live Under Progressive Governments!

Now they can afford to maintain their diameter-challenged lifechoices by underwriting the indulgences of the great and good (okay, mostly the great) among us!

This is an idea whose time has come. Keep watching this site for payment information once we have final arrangements completed with the First Tennessee Bank and Banco de Brasil!