Three Beers Later...

An Experiment in Adjusting an Alcohol-based Reality Filter. The more beer you drink, the more the world seems to make sense. I'm not sure if this is the beer's fault, or the world's. Experiments proceed. For pigeonholing purposes, I consider myself a South Park Conservative: I believe in Loose Women and Tight Borders but I'm getting anime porn and legally mandated lounges for day laborers...further adjustment to the model may be needed. e-mail me at slayerdaddy-AT-yahoo.com

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Media Matters Missed One Little Detail...

...in Eric Boehlert's nightmare imaginings that we bitter flyovers might stop clinging to our Bibles long enough to use two hands on our guns and turn into a nation of assassins... one small problem with his theory:

Leftist Puerto Rican nationalists (Truman)
Lee Harvey Oswald (JFK): Communist
Sirhan Sirhan (RFK): Arab PLO supporter
Arthur Bremer (Wallace): schizo who stalked Wallace and Nixon
Squeaky Fromme (Ford): Manson Hippie chick
Sarah Jane Moore (Ford): Manson Hippie chick
Carter: um, nobody?
John Hinckley, Jr. (Reagan): Saw Taxi Driver 15 times, developed obsession with Jodie Foster and determined to shoot Reagan to make an impression, as Bremer, the inspiration for Taxi Driver, had.
Bush 41: Nobody
Clinton: Nobody. Francisco Martin Duran fired on the White House, claiming to be destroying an 'alien mist'.
Bush 43: Nobody.
Obama: Nobody.

Frankly, rightwing crazies are way behind the curve. Leftists and lunatics, though, or as we like to call them, Obama's base, are pretty clearly a hazard to the public weal...

UPDATE: Color me stunned; Media Matters hasn't posted this.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...: you forgot the arch-conservative killer bunny that attacked Carter; September 19, 2009 at 6:29 PM
richard mcenroe said...: Sorry, but there's no such thing as a conservative bunny because they fuck like, well, bunnies.

The social conservatives would run them out of the party in two seconds flat, regardless of how useful they could be in inflating the conservative voting rolls.; September 19, 2009 at 9:02 PM
Anonymous said...: Well, that's going to leave you with a hell of a tough time trying to explain the Mormons. Come to think of it, I've never met a social con yet that had a real problem with fucking, they just thought it was appropriate to be married, too.

And, the more I think about it, the worst of the prudes that I actually have met are either feminazis or the occasional screwed-up catholic.

So, no, I must reject your premise. The killer bunny would not have been automatically barred from being conservative just because of his bunnyness.; September 20, 2009 at 1:20 AM
richard mcenroe said...: I didn't see no chaplain in that canoe.

And the business with the paddle? Kink-yyyy! "Yes, you have been a naughty bunny! You must be punished!"

A little too far out for Hannah Giles, don't you think?; September 20, 2009 at 10:06 AM
Anonymous said...: Whoa! You are just a reference maniac: Carter, bunnies, chaplains, paddles, and Hannah in skank-mode all in the same stream of thought.

Actually a rather terrifying thought experiment.; September 20, 2009 at 1:26 PM
Bob Belvedere said...: Quoted from and linked to at:
CLOWNING AROUND; September 21, 2009 at 3:58 PM