Operation Gratitude Care Package Weekend!

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Politeness is a Kingly Grace...

This Ad Was Posted to Craig's List Personals:

To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannahnight before last. Date: 05-27-09, 1:43A M EST...

I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on my girlfriend, threatening our lives.

You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.

First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment when I drew my pistol after you took my Jacket. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 A CP pistol for my birthday, and we had JUST picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening.

Obviously you agree that it is a very Intimidating weapon when pointed at your head wasn't it?

I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from bare footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].

After I called your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I Went and filled up my gas tank as well as four other people's in the gas station on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful! I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go’s, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!] I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.

Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone..

Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what's going on with that?

Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target. The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.). In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider the career path you've chosen to pursue in life.

Remember, next time you might not be so lucky.

Have a good day!

Thoughtfully yours,

P.S. Remember this motto.
An armed society makes for a more civil society!

-- "The future ain't what it used to be"
Yogi Berra


RebeccaH said...

Awwright!! I am impressed!

richard mcenroe said...

Well, thank Deborah. She found it.

christian soldier said...

do we thank Deborah by buying a shirt-:-)--checked the link- it went to Eagle Prints...
As Always-enjoy this post...and the one above...

Jim Ryan said...

Inspiring. I just bought a Highpoint .40SW. Learning how to use it. Just doing my part for the more guns less crime thing.

richard mcenroe said...

C-CS -- Actually, yes. The site's helping her with her rent since her roommate passed away. Check the copy on the index page for details.

There's stickers and magnets, too.

richard mcenroe said...

Jim Ryan -- I looked at buying a Highpoint compact here in LA. But Turner Sporting Goods said they couldn't sell them anymore, since the grip was too small to be legal in Los Angeles.

Jim Ryan said...

Hmm, too bad. What I gather is that the brand is a great value. Half the price of competitors. They aren't pretty, though.

richard mcenroe said...

If I wanted pretty I'd hire Penelope Cruz with a chrome-plated M16 to follow me around.

Anonymous said...

"Criminals prefer unarmed victims."
--Chris Holz (My good friend and bumper sticker author)
Dean, Michigan

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