Breaking Afghanistan News: Cheney Denies All Knowledge of Smitty!

A Special Three Beers Later Guest Report by Noted and Not-at-All biased Middle Eastern Correspondent Jamil al-Taqqiyah

Jamil al-Taqqiyah is a fiery young nonpartisan

journalist who regularly reports

for NBC, Al-Jazeera and the BBC.

Three Beers Later is proud to offer him

his first blogging venue.

Notorious former Vice President Dick Cheney today disavowed any knowledge of Lt. Commander Smitty, late of Afghanistan and back at his nominal post at The Other McCain:

"WHAT THE F***?!  Who have you been talking to?

Where did you hear that s***?  You WILL tell me..."

Cheney denied reports that Smitty had in fact been part of a crucial action in the Afghan theatre, as part of an elite detachment from Seal Team Hat Size Six, the covert special operations unit repeatedly outed by principled leftwing bloggers as the Vice President's personal assassination squad, but since redeemed in the public eye of all decent Americans by President for Life Obama's willingness to let them assist Our Glorious Leader in his heroic take-down of Osama bin Laden.

Mothers, look away, for this is Death,

naked.

Lt. Commander Smith, seen below on the prow of his personal flagship, led a spirited naval action that comprehensively reduced the Taliban's naval capacity in the Afghan mountain districts.

No less distinguished a publication than "Soundings", the journal of the American Naval Institute, writes, "Not since the heroic transvestites of the Royal Navy drove the Kaiser's fleets from Lake Tanganyika during the First World War to give us a great Humphrey Bogart movie has a naval exploit had such an inexplicable impact."

Below, the gallant officer explains his triumph in his own inimitable words: 

When asked what such an indomitable warrior as this unstoppable killing engine might be doing back in the United States, Cheney merely replied coyly: "With an asset like Smitty, I imagine you wouldn't send him somewhere his skills weren't needed..."