Working on my raaaaacist cred!

I seem to be having a hard time working up the mandatory raaaaacist! street cred any good eeeeeevil conservative needs to be taken seriously these days.

Okay, granted, I didn't help myself by routinely getting pounded as the "class nigger-lover" back in school, or when I got Negro black Afro-American black African-American enlisted men (of color? Is that still the approved usage?) civilian jobs when I was a race relations and economic opportunities officer in the Guard, but haven't I poked enough fun at Barack Obama? Haven't I heaped enough contumely on his puerile policies and prissy faux-leadership? Haven't I derided the character, company, morals, intelligence, narcissism and complete spiritual and intellectual vacuity of America's Last Black President sufficienttly to be declared a raaaaacist? For God's sake, haven't I even laughed at his wife enough?

To paraphrase the old Hollywood motto:

Who do I have to fuck with to be called a racist around here?!

Okay, fine. I'm gonna give this one last stab and then I'm going back to just writing whatever I feel like.

You want to understand Barack Obama? Go read "Porgy" by Dubose and Dorothy Heyward, and check out the character of the charlatan Lawyer Brown, who exploits the hapless denizens of Catfish Row with his bogus legal advice.

You want to understand Barack Obama? Go read "The Emperor Jones" by Eugene O'Neill, in which a corrupt thug dictator destroys himself battling his nameless little fears and inner demons while ignoring the true destruction closing in on him.

You want to understand Barack Obama? Go read Henrik Ibsen's "Peer Gynt"... especially the onion-peeling scene.

You want to understand Barack Obama? Go read Ibsen's "The League of Youth", and see if you recognize the character of the lawyer Stensgård, "unhampered by character, conviction or social position."

And while you're at it, if you want to understand Rahm Emanuel, go ahead and read Christopher Marlowe's "The Jew of Malta."

There won't be a quiz. But there might be recognition.

So. Am I a raaaaacist yet?