Rule 5 — Juliana Moreira!

DOOMSTORMWATCH 2010 WITH DOPPLERDOPPLERDOPPPLER -- pt 4

So I called Delta Customer Service this morning to check my flight status.  I suspect I may not have been the first...

DOOMSTORMWATCH 2010 WITH DOPPLERDOPPLERDOPPPLER -- pt 3

 Things have taken a grim turn at the McEnroe storm redoubt.  The pizzerias aren't delivering and the men are reduced to desperate forays out back in the darkness and gale-force winds to scavenge non-alcoholic beers from the over-drifted porch cache as the blizzard claws at the siding.

The food situation is becoming awkward.  Certain parties have been caught staring at the plumper nieces and nephews and fingering the matched set of Ginsu carving knives on the kitchen counter.

I will try to keep this journal going for as long as my last real beer holds out.

I'm saying a prayer, John, I'm saying a prayer for the whole world...

DOOMSTORMWATCH 2010 WITH DOPPLERDOPPLERDOPPPLER -- pt 2

Things have taken a turn for the worse at the McEnroe household.  The liquor remains buried in the snow out back, and roaming packs of polar bears, angry at not being declared endangered, are intercepting even 4WD deliveries from the beer distributor...

...while the icy winter hell contiues to stalk suburbia...

...and we're forced to burn limbs off our wooden Al Gore Collectible Cigar Store Indian (A Franklin Mint Collectible!) for warmth.  We're assuming it's our cigar store Al... anyway, it stopped fighting and screaming after the second limb...

DOOMSTORMWATCH 2010 WITH DOPPLERDOPPLERDOPPPLER

Three branches of the family have regathered in one house to share heat and eke out survival via massed Christmas leftovers.

The relatives are reacting with suprising harmony and self-control. Yes, the dog has been killed, but at least it was properly skinned and hung outside to air-freeze pending need.

There has been a brief argument as someone just realized the leftover beer and wine was left out on the back deck and is now buried in snow, but so far hostilities have not brok

An Irish American Christmas Song...

I gave my snowman viagra...

It's July and the sumbitch still ain't melted.

Rule 5 -- Denise Milani Christmas Extravaganza Part 2!

Christmas Rule 5 -- Denise Milani!

A THREE BEERS LATER EXCLUSIVE: SICKO — THE LOST FOOTAGE!

HT: American Carol

Scaaaaaary Terrorists!

Because as The Camp of the Saints points out, if we can't laugh at them, they've won.



HT: An American Carol

Rule 5 — Spandex Christmas!

BREAKING NEWS! Barack Obama Switching Parties!

Following the defection of two African-American Congressmen from the Democrats to the Republican Party down in Georgia, Obama's own forced accommodation of the GOP on the Bush tax rates, the catastrophic defeat of the 'Porkulus' Omnibus bill, and the decisive repudiation  of the DREAM Act immigration amnesty bill in the Senate, the President has declared his intention to cross the aisle in the hopes of getting something done in the last years of his troubled first term...

'It has become increasingly self-evident that only an Administration working in concert 

with an effective, uncorrupted Congressional leadership that pays close attention to the will 

of the American people has any hope of meaningful and lasting achievement on behalf of 

this great nation.  To that end I am renouncing my affiliation with the Democratic —

Hey, wait a minute!  This isn't my script!  I never approved this!  Who wrote this?

WHO KEEPS DOING THIS TO ME?!"

Jeff Dunham, Walter & The Baby Jesus....!

...All stand up for these folks!

OBAMA ENDORSES BUSH ECONOMIC AGENDA!

President embraces Bush tax reforms; collapse of Democrat pork surge...

"We must steer this great nation back from the

 tragic mistakes of 2006 and my admini —

Hey, this isn't my teleprompter..."

"Yeah. I'm that good..."

Mars Needs ... OI GEVALT! ZANEK!

Israelis shoot down UFO Over Nuke Plant

Sophisticated Rendition of Alleged Israeli UFO Incident

One of those days...

Getting nibbled to death by ducks....

BREAKING SUPREME COURT NEWS

The Supreme Court ruled there cannot be a nativity
scene in Washington, DC this Christmas. This isn't for
any religious or constitutional reason; they simply
have not been able to find three wise men and a virgin
in the nation's capital. There was no problem,
however, finding enough asses to fill the stable.

Achmed the Dead Terrorist: "Jingle Bombs"

Exclusive Stockholm Terrorist Video!

Obama provides Party clown for WH Press Corps!

Doesn't want reporters to feel neglected while he goes to fancy party,

says Gibbs

Multimillionaire Democrat Kills Tax Break for Millions of Americans!

DEMOCRATS SNUB INEFFECTUAL, NEUROTIC PRESIDENTIAL POSEUR ON TAX BILL!

Heckuva Job, Nancy!

Governor "Moondust"m Brown to CA Legislature: "Brace Yourselves..."

He's almost finished soaking that wet noodle 

he's going to slap their wrist with...

Obama says: "I expect this tax deal to improve the economy..."

"...but the GOP had to hold the American people hostage to make me do it."

Who. Writes. His. Stuff.

OBAMA PROPOSES TAX BREAK FOR RICH FOLK

... You know, all us rich folk who stand on street corners...

... and for the record, yes, I have a job, and I'm starting my own business.  If anything, I'm OVERemployed.

Just underpaid.

'Cuz We All Need a Little Perspective, Now and Then...

And yes, 11C dismount sucks donkey dick.

HT: Theo Sparks

The Mind Boggles...

Democratic shill Mark Halperin thinks he knows exactly what Obama needs to get his mojo back...a little "luck" in the form of a terrorist attack or some other national tragedy.

Really.

Is there anyone — even Chris Matthews or Joy Behar — who can even imagine this scene:

— with Barack Obama standing in George Bush's place?

That kind of 'luck' we don't need... and it won't save Barack Obama.

Hey, TSA! Feel up THIS guy!

Biggest Bomb Warehouse EVER discovered in CA.

The place is such a mess of sheer death the authorities are going to try to burn it down in place rather than disarm and remove each item.

"Location, location, location..."

A Muslim Christmas Carol!

Deck the streets with burning Fiats,
Allahu-akbar, aharharhar!
Just to light the evening riots!
Allahu-akbar, aharharhar!

Semtex bombs will end all quarrel!
Allahu-akbar, aharharhar!
Peace comes from an AK barrel!
Allahu-akbar, aharharhar!

Build we now a wall so thick,
ak-a-bar, ak-a-bar! Harharhar!
Just to squash those gay folks slick!
Allahu-akbar, aharharhar!

Kill a man for making movies!
Allahu-akbar, aharharhar!
The BBC still finds you groovy!
Allahu-akbar, aharharhar!

Fatwa a man for drawing toons!
Allahu-akbar, aharharhar!
Then gripe when we call you loons!
Allahu-akbar, aharharhar!

Slit your daughters throats for virtue,
ak-a-bar, ak-a-bar! Harharhar!
Then complain we just don't getchu!
Allahu-akbar, aharharhar!

Rule 5 — Juliana Moreira!

Rule 5 -- Happy, Uh, Feet! Group Aerobics!

OBAMA BEATS REAGAN!

19 straight months of unemployment above 9.4% (calculated, we ALL know it's higher) beats 16 months of 1983-84!  And no end to Obama's glorious streak in sight!

Important Message from Operation Grattitude: Please Read and Forward!

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE                                      OPERATION GRATITUDE TO HIT UNPRECEDENTED MILESTONE DECEMBER 11 Organization Celebrates Shipment of 600,000 Care Packages to Troops Volunteers and Supporters: All across the country, we will have cause to celebrate on Saturday, December 11, 2010 as the 600,000th Operation Gratitude Care Package rolls off the assembly line at the National Guard Armory in Van Nuys, California! Director of Operations Charlie Othold expects the milestone 600,000th package to hit the assembly line around 11:15 a.m. PST, to the cheers of up to 1,000 volunteers, Military members, legislators, and celebrities. In addition to standard items and personal letters provided by more than 250 Corporate donors and by all of you, the 600,000th Care Package will include a classically American surprise generously donated by one of our Corporate Partners. A special delivery of the 600,000th Package is being arranged.  Five previous Operation Gratitude milestone packages contained the keys to new vehicles. The five winners of the online Halloween "Guess the Candy Weight 2010 Contest," will also be announced and awarded their great prizes.  The contest remains open to enter through December 5. Military and political dignitaries, along with representatives from many of the organization's Corporate Sponsors, will join the Operation Gratitude volunteers to assemble thousands of troop gifts in addition to the 600,000th Care Package.  Delicious product samples and a hearty lunch will be provided by Corporate and local business donors. Volunteers (ages 12 years and up) are invited to assist in the on-site care package activities.  Financial Donations are still needed to pay the assembly and postage costs of $15 per care package.  Please ensure that every Soldier, Sailor, Airman and Marine deployed in harm's way, far from home, feels loved and appreciated this holiday season.   Every tax deductible donation of $15 sends another care package, personally addressed to an American hero, and filled with 50+ assorted snack, entertainment and personal care items valued at $100 or more.  Online donations can be made here: Donate Donations by check can be made payable and mailed to: Operation Gratitude 16444 Refugio Road Encino, California 91436 WHAT:  Operation Gratitude Volunteers assemble the 600,000th Care Package WHEN:  Saturday, December 11, 2010             Care Package Assembly starts at 9 a.m.             The 600,000th Package Assembly and Celebration will occur: 11 a.m. - 12:30 p.m. WHERE:   California National Guard Armory                17330 Victory Boulevard                 Van Nuys, CA  91406                 Corner of Victory and Louise; parking available on adjacent lot For additional volunteer information: Volunteer  To learn how you can help:  Support Activities Donate while you shop: Great Ideas To Request Care Packages for Deployed Troops: Request Packages   ### About Operation Gratitude Operation Gratitude annually sends 100,000+ care packages filled with snacks, entertainment items andpersonal letters of appreciation addressed to individually named U.S. Service Members deployed in harm's way. The organization's mission is to lift morale, bring a smile to a service member's face and express to our Armed Forces the appreciation and support of the American people. Each package contains donated product valued at ~$125 and costs the organization $15 to assemble and ship. For safety and security, assembling of packages occurs at the Army National Guard armory in Van Nuys, California. Since its inception in 2003, Operation Gratitude volunteers have shipped more than 595,000 packages to American Military deployed overseas.  The 600,000th package will be assembled and shipped on December 11, 2010. Learn more about Operation Gratitude by visiting: Web:          http://www.OperationGratitude.com Twitter:     http://www.twitter.com/OpGratitude Facebook:  http://www.facebook.com/OperationGratitude Blog:          http://OpGrat.wordpress.com YouTube:   http://www.youtube.com/OpGrat   Operation Gratitude Pam Campeau pam.campeau@gmail.com  805-559-8191                                            Visit our website         Facebook      Twitter       Videos        LinkedIn          Blog    Or text "fan OperationGratitude" to 32665 (FBOOK) from your mobile phone to be added as a fan on Facebook. Standard charges may apply.

Rule 5 — Juliana Moreira!

Rule 5 — Sarah Palin!

Rule 5 — Black Friday!

HALLE BERRY

 BEYONCÉ

VANESSA WILLIAMS

Turkey Terrorist Attack at Major Sporting Event!

One day a year of action is not enough to safeguard our nation from the turkey threat!

Soccer Goalie Gets Chased By Turkey @ Yahoo! Video

The Ways of the Fathers that Bore Us... the WKRP Turkey Drop!

Happy Thanksgiving!


WKRP Turkey Drop from Mitch Cohen on Vimeo.

TSA MOLESTS RETURNING COMBAT TROOPS

300 US troops detained by TSA pissant in Indianapolis...

HT: The Muqta

One of these things is not like the other...