STACY McCAIN IS ON A DEADLINE!

Stacy McCain celebrates the lack of deer in Iowa, as he makes an heroic dash to give the Bachmann campaign equal time...

NEW RICK PERRY BILLBOARD SIGHTED IN AUSTIN...

Robert Stacy McCain reports on turmoil in the Perry Campaign from somewhere in Iowa...

Stacy McCain on the Road in Iowa...

They rented a man who drives a Kia a Mustang. WTF were they thinking?

As the air is filled with flying cornstalks, chickens and the lowing of terrified, stampeding cows, Robert Stacy McCain traverses the length and breadth of the caucusing state to bring you this video...

JOHN KERRY'S BEEN SEARED AGAIN!

Dear Richard, Here's a lesson seared into all of us: in elections, there are no do-overs.   We only get one shot to keep the Tea Party from taking over the White House.   We only get one shot to send progressive leaders to Washington. We only get one shot to do our job in 2011 so the DSCC can do its job in 2012.    And 2011 will be over in a matter of hours.   The stakes are huge and there's no room for error or apathy: Ten Senate races are toss-ups. Our majority is a thin four seats. The DSCC is $185,000 short of its year-end goal. And this could be your last chance to do something about it.   Any dollar we don’t raise in 2011 is a dollar we can’t use in 2012. So please click here to contribute $5, $10 or more today! When we hit midnight on December 31, it isn’t just the end of the year. It’s the beginning of a mad dash to the finish line. Take it from someone who’s seen a lot of pages flip on the political calendar: When it flips to 2012, we won’t be able to win if we’re not ready.     It will start with the Iowa caucuses on January 3 – and it will only get more intense from there as Mitt, Newt, and the rest try to out-Tea-Party each other and Karl Rove cranks up the volume on the attack machine aimed at our star progressive recruits and Democrats nationwide.   The DSCC is committed to fighting back in 2012, calling out GOP lies and holding Republicans accountable for their radical agenda. But that won’t be possible if we miss our goal in 2011.   Please don’t let the year end without taking action. Click here right now and contribute $5, $10 or more to help the DSCC reach its year-end goal.  We’re $185,000 short and there are only two days left, so act now! I know you understand the threat we face if Republicans can capture just four of the 23 Democratic-held seats up for grabs in 2012.   Without our majority, we’ll have no way to stop their agenda: from rolling back women's rights to a vicious tax hike on middle-class families. And one smear attack could tip any of those ten toss-up races – or even the majority – if we’re unable to respond.   So consider this an urgent warning from someone who knows the political calendar pretty well. Things are about to get intense. We have only a few hours left to prepare.   And there won’t be any second chances if we fail. Don’t let the clock run out on 2011 – or on our majority. Click here to give now. Thanks, John Kerry

Paid for by the Democr

A Shameless Suck-up to a Blogger Shamelessly Sucking Up for a Gummint Job

Dear Stacy McCain,

As the primary season wends onward, I wish you the best of luck in your quest for the ambassadorship to Vanuatu in the sunny South Pacific, from whatever candidate you ultimately decide was the best-one-all along-no-really-this-time-it's-love...

But prior planning prevents piss poor performance, as someone forgot to tell Herman and Newt, so allow me to suggest that it's time you start planning ahead in terms of your embassy staff.

Now of course you'll have the dauntless USMC detachment tasked with the actual protection of the embassy, but you're going to need a larger protective staff than that, a Legation Constabulary, if you will, that can be tasked with more flexible missions concerning the interests of US citizens and corporate interests in Vanuatu.

To that end, I would like to offer my services in the formation and command of this organization.  I have prior service with a military unit with a notable record in this field, the 1/71 INF NYARNG, formerly the 71st Volunteer Infantry, who made an immortal name for themselves in Cuba during the Spanish-American War and in particular the epic charge at San Juan Juan Hill:

This proud tradition can be put to good use in your service as you maintain American interests in Vanuatu, particularly as pertain to those business partners you are at present in discussion with, such as Dole and the United Fruit Company...

This experience and service will stand me and my subordinates in good stead both in 

maintaining your safety and more sophisticated civil affairs contacts with the general populace...

Of course, we must not lose sight of the fact that Vanuatu is an island chain, 

so you will need to maintainsubstantial nautical assets for that aspect of your de facto rule ambassadorship.

And I'm sure we both know just the man to manage them.

I'm sure I don't need to sing Smitty's praises to you...

but I don't think you're fully aware of his distinguished sea service in this particular field, 

or the crack ships he's served upon:

The USS Kahtadin, the last torpedo ram built by any naval power,

twenty years in the construction, that's how good it was!

The USS Terror, a monitor of such puissance that it

reminded eyewitnesses of the Civil War just thirty years before!

And of course the USS Panay, a ship of such distinguished service

on the Yangtze that the Japanese insisted we leave it there as a memorial...

So don't worry, Stacy!  Between us Smitty and I can make your Ambassadorial term both the diplomatic triumph and the life-enriching experience you always hoped it would be!

Call me!

Rick Santorum w/Greta van Sustren

HT: Robert Stacy McCain

RINO Lugar blames Teabaggers for GOP Senate woes.

Gallant Dick Lugar, who has never met anyone who needed him he couldn't betray, from Filipina election workers threatened by Marcos' secret police to his own constituents, today claimed that Tea Party challengers cost the GOP their Senate Majority in 2010.

Never mind that they had already lost it in the elections of 2006 and 2009.



Lugar has made a career of thwarting efforts by the GOP on judges, gun control legislation, bank bailouts and appointments out of a McCainesque sense of self-importance and urge for media praise.  If he seriously thinks the GOP would have done better with the likes of Castle and Crist, he's not only out of touch with the American people, he's out of touch with what's going on in Washington.

Indiana State Treasurer Richard Mourdock is Lugar's Tea Party-endorsed opponent in the primary.  Mourdock's campaign site is here.

May You Enjoy Your Christmas In Peace... It's Paid For.

It's a Ron Paul Christmas!

ACHMED THE DEAD TERRORIST: JINGLE BOMBS!

Christmas Logistics

HT: Theo Spark

Rule 5 — Joey Heatherton!

CHEERS FOR NEWT 2012!

Rule 5-1/2 Christmas Cuties!

Time to Get My Christmas On...

The Timeless Epic of the Conservative "New Media"...

Video Renegado Ladd Ehrlinger comments on the recent mild disagreements between conservative bloggers during the GOP Presidential debates:

"Seriously? Come on, Jeff. Some bloggers endorsed Rick Perry. BFD. Everyone in the GOP field has major flaws. There is no messiah. Attacking conservative bloggers for endorsing a candidate you don't like in the same way you'd attack a card-carrying members of the Socialist Worker's Party is not only silly, it's counter-productive.

How about concentrating fire on foes, and debate your allies?

Bear in mind, this is coming from a guy who's had more than his fair share of silly internecine fights."

Silly internecine fights?!  These are life and death struggles for Truth, Justice and Juicier BlogAds! We are bloggers, dammit!  We're IMPORTANT!  We MATTER!  People tell us so! Other people squat in their basements for hours on end just to insult us!  Why, we're going to do for the future of this country what Menelaus and Agamemnon did for the future of Troy!

If anything, we're not squabbling hard ENOUGH! Think of it as fighting for internet tenure: we have to be particularly vicious because the potential rewards are so small!

So let the battle rage!  Let our self-appointed Odysseuses (Odysseyi?) scurry around thinking how clever and manipulative they're being, while our vainglorious Ajaxes sulk in their tents, their brilliance unappreciated, as our virtuous Hippolotuses (Hippoloti - screw it, did that joke already) have their honor and naiveté exploited and our wretched Philocteteseses suffer tormented exile for impiety towards the Gods of the Web.

The end result will be magnificent, a modern Iliad for our times... as directed by Roger Corman.

"Sarah Palin sold a quart of milk from a state-run dairy to Herman Cain's mistress!"
"Ace you lying bitch!"

Why I'm not supporting Rick Perry (yet)...

When they wanted to show Ronald Reagan as a working man, a man of the people, they went and got pictures of the man working, the way he always worked...

When they wanted to show us George W. Bush as a working man, a man of the people, they went and shot pictures of him working, the way he always worked....

When they wanted to show us Rick Perry as a working man, a man of the people, they fired up the backlights and the smoke machine and the movie set and the props and the pristine chaps that frankly looked to me like they'd never spent a day in the chaparral...

Look, maybe Rick Perry is a rough tough working buckaroo.  I certainly respect his military service. But back when he was running against Perry for the Governorship, Kinky Friedman laid a serious rap on Perry as an empty suit, a tailor's dummy for the Machine to manipulate.

Handing us a glorified Marlboro Man ad is no way to lay that concern to rest.  And to a lesser extent that's a problem with the rest of his ads, as well.  His denim shirts are always crisp and brand-new, his "work" jackets uncreased and unscarred.  Working folks get dirty, they get wrinkled, and they won't hold against a man who shows up to talk about jobs in a jacket that looks like it's been worked in.

Now I know Kinky has at least come around to the extent of acknowledging that Perry has presided over  some outstanding economic performance by the state of Texas.  But presiding over other people's hard work by itself is not a sign that you can do the work yourself.

And yes, Perry had some brain freezes in those jumped-up reality shows we called debates.  But the thing is, it seems to me, a man with deeply held convictions and intentions could expand on those even if he blocked on a certain specific buzzword or platform point.  Perry needs to show me he can do that yet.

Understand, I could bring myself to vote for Perry regardless, where I don't think I could for Romney or Gingrich.  But I'd be a lot happier if he showed me there was some 'there' there.

Yeah, it's hell on the home front...

ODE TO RICK SANTORUM!

Robert Stacy McCain has noticed a never before revealed secret about Rick Santorum.  I KNEW there was something I liked about the guy...!

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

YOU HAD ME AT BEER

I don't need no menu, waitress,

The food ain't why I'm here.

This ain't no eatin' venue,

But you had me, hon, at beer.

Now I had some beer for breakfast

And I had some beer for lunch

Had a few between them,

(In LA they call that brunch).

Had some on the job today,

A little workplace cheer,

And if I should roam on my way home,

Some beer will help me steer.

That's how I met that roadhouse honey,

Said those words I want to hear.

She can't love me for my money,

Cuz I spent it all on beer!

But I think she left with someone else,

Or she's hiding in the can;

I guess she couldn't handle

A hot beer-drinkin' man.

So I took some beer out huntin',

Gonna shoot me up a bear.

Had a few up in the tree,

Did my huntin' from mid-air.

The ground was hard,

The Bear got scar'd,

The Rangers was amused:

It's gonna take a lot of beer

To fix what I got bruised.

Now don't talk to me about Cabernet,

Margaritas is just queer.

Rum and coke's a sissy joke,

And tequila makes me sneer.

Vodka's un-American,

So I drink the only drink I can.

Now lose that wine list baby doll,

And bring me another beer...

Well, I don't have that job no more,

My wife and kids steer clear. 

My pickup's stuck under this truck

(but they'll get me out of here).

But the Rangers took my shotgun,

And that bear knows where I live!

If I don't get a beer real soon,

Something's gonna give!

So I don't need no menu, waitress,

The food ain't why I'm here.

This ain't no eatin' venue,

But you had me, hon, at beer.

Newt Gingrich, Rick Perry and a Cast of Thousands...

Presidential hopefuls tend to take credit for the efforts of their coworkers... When Newt Gingrich assumed the Speakership of the House, he was entering an environment where Congressional Republicans, including Rick Santorum and John Boehner (yeah, once upon a time) had already exposed the Democratic Culture of Corruption with their prosecution of the House Bank and Post Office scandals.  Their actions laid the groundwork for the expulsion of Democrat Speaker Jim Wright and the ascension of Newt Gingrich and his Contract with America.  Not to hear him tell it, of course, but...

Rick Perry boasts of the million jobs created during his tenure as Governor.  But the governorship of Texas is actually an office of fairly limited power, as critics of GW Bush liked to remind us.  The actual work of legislating in Texas is in the hands of the Legislature and Lt. Governor.  Perry can rightly take credit for providing leadership and a conscience to the government of Texas, but the state's financial strength has many fathers outside the Governor's mansion.

The point is not that either man is too fond of grabbing undeserved credit.  The point is that we the voters should not be looking for a man on a white horse (or big shiny moon rocket in Newt's case, maybe) to save us single-handedly.  No president we elect can success unless we the voter provide them with a legislative body that will cooperate in the execution of the public's will, as opposed to killing our hopes.  Without that, the greatest leader can rear his white horse and wave his sword all he wants on the path to futility,  With that, even a flawed president can create a legacy that will endure.

It's not on them.  It's on us.

NAIL DOWN NEWT...

Here are some  more pledges Newt needs to sign to convince me to support him.  Feel free to add your own!

Newt signs pledge to support fewer than 418 more bills that Nancy Pelosi wants. 
Newt signs pledge to not quit the White House in a huff the way he quit his Congressional seat. 
Newt signs pledge to not tap strategic oil reserve to cover Tiffany's tab. 
Newt signs pledge to not send all the decent white folks to space colonies. 
Newt signs pledge to not divorce 3rd wife when she gets sick.

Robert Stacy McCain takes mild exception to Barack Obama's 60 Minutes interview...

He appears under-impressed:

"ECONOMIC GROWTH, YOU F–KING IDIOT! EVER HEARD OF THE LAFFER CURVE? SUPPLY SIDE? ART LAFFER COULD EXPLAIN IT TO YOU IN 15 MINUTES WITH A COCKTAIL NAPKIN!

"Obamanomics is simply ignorance as the basis of policy. The more you know, the less you like it, and his only hope of re-election is to promulgate counterfactual ideas and persuade voters that they must choose between two lies: His dishonest characterizations of his own policies and his dishonest characterizations of Republican policies.

I hope he fails, because my blood-pressure can’t take another four years of listening to this guy lie."

Foamy the Squirrel on #Caring

Santorum/Gingrich Debate! How did we miss this?

Next time Rick Santorum complains about the media burying his candidacy, point this out!  Hooah! for GranteGrok posting this material!

Oooooookay...

HT: Ginger's Guide to Life and Other Important Stuff...

Rick Santorum Videos

BREAKING NFL NEWS: Commissioner Roger Goodell Announces Half-Time Show Special

NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell today announced a special feature for this year's Superbowl halftime show. Prior to the appearance of emigrée demicentarian pop idol Madonna, Goodell himself will appear before the assembled throng —

And offer the gathered fans a choice: whether to pardon...

Denver quarterback Tim Tebow...

Or the thief Barrabas?

Cast YOUR vote!

Who Should the Super Bowl Mob Pardon?
	Tim Tebow
	The Thief Barrabas
pollcode.com free polls

New Theme Song for Newt Gingrich!

Click Here For Musical Sentiment (NSFW)

Christmas Wishes from the Obama Administration! (we are ho ho hosed...)

Mark Reed -- Silence is Consent!

Mark Reed, GOP candidate for Congress in Los Angeles.

Israel’s very existence is threatened and the current administration continues to treat it and its Prime Minister not as close allies but as insignificant. Now, Brad Sherman and Howard Berman, my two opponents in the upcoming primary for California’s 30th District Congressional seat, are both quietly distancing themselves from the very same person they helped elect -- only to get themselves re-elected! I’m not challenging their support for, or emotional connection to, Israel; however, I want you to take a serious look at their silence concerning the Middle East and the State of Israel, our only true friend in the region.  I would speak loudly and clearly in opposition to: The Palestinian Authority’s Resolution for state recognition to the U.N. President Obama’s demand for Israel to return to the 1967 borders. The growing dominance of the Muslim Brotherhood in the region. The spread of Sharia Law in the region and in the United States. The failure of the sanctions imposed on Iran and North Korea. The Democrat endorsement of the Anti-Semitic J Street lobbyist group (including  the personal endorsement by Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz). The support for multinational resolutions to strip Israel of nuclear weapons. The refusal to approve any major Israeli request for U.S. weapons platforms  or advanced systems. The sale of such systems to Muslim nations which do not have a viable peace  treaty with Israel. President Obama’s treatment of Prime Minister Netanyahu during his first  visit to the White House. The condemnation of settlement building in Ramat Shlomo, the Jewish suburb  of North Jerusalem. President Obama’s obsequious bowing to Muslim leaders. President Obama’s sacrifice of U.S.-Israeli relations. President Obama’s failure to visit Israel. This list could go on forever. The final question you need to ask yourself is whether you will be better off if you send Sherman and Berman back to Washington, D.C. to represent us. The existential threat portrayed in my ad is real.  And the horrific outcome portrayed has a far greater likelihood of becoming real if we do not change course.  We need to send these two rubber stamps home and elect a representative that will lead and not follow their party dictates.  That is why I produced this ad. I am not afraid to represent you in Washington, D.C. and challenge my party when the time calls for it. If this is what you want, please forward this email to everyone you know nationally and internationally. Contribute what you can so that, together, we can send a strong  message. God Bless you and God Bless America, Mark Reed

"Early Christmas Gift" for Newt, Coal for Herman Cain's Stocking...

House Democratic Leader Nancy Pelosi is threatening to "dish dirt" from then-Speaker and now wannabe teletubby in chief New Gingrich's ethics committee hearings that wound up with Gingrich paying over $300,000 in ethics fines.

A defiant Gingrich defied Pelosi to bring it, calling it an "early Christmas gift."

I dunno.  Maybe Newt should take his own advice to Herman Cain and come clean about his past indiscretions.  I mean, there were a lot of charges, you know, which indicates a pattern, and where there's a lotta smoke there's gotta be some fire, and he shoulda got ahead of this and not been blindsided it and if only he'd been more up front about this stuff with his staff and supporters...

"Hey wait a minute!  I know this tune!"

Yeah, Herman, you do, but you know what?  Bet they don't play it for Newt.

Three Hour Tour, My Ass...

Pic tip: Theo Spark

AMERICA'S $1.2 TRILLION DOLLAR HOSTAGE

Lost in all the noise about 999 plans and 50 Points plans and Sigmas and whatever other is a fact that no one seems to be talking about:

$1.2 TRILLION in US corporate assets are currently being held in foreign banks.  You know, those foreign banks that are about to start popping like a string of firecrackers.

These are cash assets US corporations have left overseas because of the US's extortionate taxes if they are brought back into the country.

If the US companies tried to pull them out now it would probably begin the collapse.  It may not even be possible to pull them out in time, with the European economy's future being measured in weeks if not days by many analysts.

If the US companies did bring the cash back now, they would take a 1/3 hit in the assets.  That would be enough to push a lot of institutions under.

If they don't bring it back, it all goes away when, not if, the Eurobanks collapse.

So all the fancy plans you hear about.  Forget them.  They're obsolete already.

What we need in a leader is not a PowerPoint presentation, but the character and values to stand up and face the coming crisis.

Rule 5 Yvonne Craig-a-palooza!

 Click to enlarge...