Alyssa Milano Heartbroken Over Cad Blogger Stacy McCain!

Sexy "Charmed" star Alyssa Milano is reportedly heartbroken over her virtual abandonment by neoConfederate scoundrel Robert Stacy McCain following his long cyberstalking/courtship.

Milano was reported by close friends and associates to have been 'absolutely devastated' when she learned of the unregenerate secessionist's torrid fling with Selma Hayek and their scandalous love child, first through The Camp of the Saints Blog despite attempts by the nicotine-stained scribe to hide his tracks.

To date, spokespersons for Milano said, the star has not heard directly from McCain about the scandal.

An indignant Selma Hayek denied all knowledge of McCain's prior relationship with Milano.

"That cracker peeg! To think he would throw over that poor young girl for an older but much wealthier woman!  I am ashamed I ever let him hit my tip jar!"

McCain had no comment on the remainder of Ms. Hayek's statement, in which the words cabron, maricone and desaparecido figured prominently.

Robert Stacy McCain Linked to Rash of Hollywood Twitter Pregnancies?

Following the sudden announcement of Alyssa Milano's pregnancy, a rash of celebrity pregnancies is sweeping Hollywood.  Natalie Portman has appeared at the Oscars in the family way, and actresses and celebrities including Marion Cotillard, Jewel, Rachel Zoe, Jennifer Connolly, Jane Krakowski, Jessica Alba, Victoria Beckham, Rachel Zoe, and Isla Fisher have all turned up embarrassée.  Coupled with the recent rash of celebrity births including Penelope Cruz, Jennifer Rowley, Gretchen Mol and Elton John, and it's clear that Hollywood is in the middle of a frenzy of fecundity.

And what do all these happy occasions have in common?  The phenomenal twitter powers of Robert Stacy McCain.  Ever since his successful twitter stalk of Alyssa Milano, sources close to the McCain camp say the confrontational conservative journalist has been on a tweeting frenzy, pinging ever showbiz figure who's been described as "hot" since Joyce DeWitt. 


"I'll tell you, I couldn't get out of the country fast enough," said one source close to McCain who asked not to be identified.  "It got weird. It just went on and on and on.  I'm amazed he can still bend his thumbs."


Plainly, this has been having an unexpected consequence or two.  Just as cell phones and high-tension lines are rumored to cause cancer, it seems the tweets of Robert Stacy McCain have long-term physical effects that have yet to be fully studied.


It is to be hoped that the responsible parties at Twitter will take swift and effective action before longterm damage is done to this nation's entertainment industry...

Good news, America!  Soon all your movies 

will look like England's!

THREE BEERS LATER STAFF EXCLUSIVE: TWEET-STALKING RAMPAGE LEADS TO BLOGGER ARREST!

"It was the hat.  I shoulda worn the hat..."

The successful culmination of rightwing teabagger online journalist Robert Stacy McCain's long campaign to secure a "tweet" online message from Charmed star Alyssa Milano has inspired a tragic copycatting, as a lower-tier blogger was admitted to the County USC emergency room suffering from multiple taser burns and prolonged over-exposure to pepper spray and small nipping dogs.

Officers from the LAPD, LA County Sheriffs, Beverly Hills PD, Policia Municipali di Roma, and Interpol are still trying to piece together the details of a deranged internet addict's global frenzy, using data gathered from police complaints, private security firms and home-security video systems as well as e-mails, Twitter messages, posts, YouTube videos and comments often completely off-topic, on other blogs.

"This is a unique and uniquely outrageous case," said BHPD spokesman Captain Brad Perfect. "We haven't seen anything like it since Harpo Marx got onstage during A Night at the Opera.  Frankly, a middle-aged fat man streaking a Girls Gone Wild video would have shown more class and dignity."

Celebrities involved to date include:

Penelope Cruz

Juliana Moreira

Catherine Zeta Jones

Debbie Harry

Denise Milani

Cote de Pablo

Charisma Carpenter

Brinke Stevens

And the entire staff of Hooters....

"It's like this suspect was just one big "Just say no to the Internet" ad..." said Captain Perfect.

TBL publisher Richard McEnroe is expected to have further on this case following his arraignment making bail  recovery from undisclosed minor medical and personal problems.