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Wednesday, September 29, 2010

THREE BEERS LATER STAFF EXCLUSIVE: TWEET-STALKING RAMPAGE LEADS TO BLOGGER ARREST!

"It was the hat.  I shoulda worn the hat..."

The successful culmination of rightwing teabagger online journalist Robert Stacy McCain's long campaign to secure a "tweet" online message from Charmed star Alyssa Milano has inspired a tragic copycatting, as a lower-tier blogger was admitted to the County USC emergency room suffering from multiple taser burns and prolonged over-exposure to pepper spray and small nipping dogs.

Officers from the LAPD, LA County Sheriffs, Beverly Hills PD, Policia Municipali di Roma, and Interpol are still trying to piece together the details of a deranged internet addict's global frenzy, using data gathered from police complaints, private security firms and home-security video systems as well as e-mails, Twitter messages, posts, YouTube videos and comments often completely off-topic, on other blogs.

"This is a unique and uniquely outrageous case," said BHPD spokesman Captain Brad Perfect. "We haven't seen anything like it since Harpo Marx got onstage during A Night at the Opera.  Frankly, a middle-aged fat man streaking a Girls Gone Wild video would have shown more class and dignity."

Celebrities involved to date include:

Penelope Cruz
Juliana Moreira


Catherine Zeta Jones
Debbie Harry

Denise Milani

Cote de Pablo
Charisma Carpenter
Brinke Stevens
And the entire staff of Hooters....


"It's like this suspect was just one big "Just say no to the Internet" ad..." said Captain Perfect.

TBL publisher Richard McEnroe is expected to have further on this case following his arraignment making bail  recovery from undisclosed minor medical and personal problems.

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