Sweet Meteor of Death in Campaign Sex Scandal!

Noted limousine chaser and Democratic Activist Gloria Allred today announced she was taking on the case of a woman who claimed she was sexually victimized by popular write-in GOP candidate Sweet Meteor of Death during a campaign stop at an undisclosed location.

The complainant, whom Ms. Allred identified as a Ms. Tiberia Church, came forward after two previous complainants declined to come out publicly, although informed speculation has identified them as a Ms. W. Deering and a Ms. D. Arden, both former members of the space industry in the Los Angeles area.

Ms. Church, according to Allred, originally met with the Sweet Meteor of Death to discuss issues, of which she said, "I have several."  But she described the meeting as "creepy and off-putting" saying, "He looked at me like he'd never seen a woman before."

Ms. Church alleges that the meeting was so traumatic, it left her unable to pursue her university studies in comparative crypto-anthropology and terpsichorean ecdysiasm.  An unspecified amount of damages for loss of earning potential and emotional distress is being sought.

Sweet Meteor of Death refused to directly refute the allegations when asked, noting that "When I come down on someone who has screwed me over, I come down hard!"  Ms. Allred stated that a temporary restraining order was being sought compelling Sweet Meteor of Death to remain outside the orbit of Mars pending initial court hearings.

Rumors that Sweet Meteor of Death is considering suspending his campaign and endorsing former House Speaker Newt Gingrich have yet to be verified.

NY Times says John Boehner had sex, GOP must now collapse...

Dudes.

We just gave $2,500,000 to a freaking witch.

Our Leading Spokeswoman Can Dress Out a Full-Grown

Bull Moose without wearing a bra!

Our Worst Governor Travelled 10,000 Miles to Find a Hot Enough Mistress!

Do you think we give an uncooked rat's ass WHAT John Boehner's been doing? WAY TO GO OLD DUDE!

Another RINO poached by True Republicans?

Conservatives were outraged when Mark Kirk, one of the notorious Gang of Eight Republican Congressmen who passed the Cap and Trade Bill for Nancy Pelosi when she could not round up enough votes in her own thieving pack of scavengers, was anointed by the RNC as "their" candidate for the Senate seat from Illinois, at the specific request of Dem-Hag John McCain in his oiliest reach around across the aisle dementia.

Now it seems that Michael Steele is withdrawing his endorsement of Kirk.

It remains to be seen whether Steele's putative attack of conscience/common sense will be reflected in RNC policy. Spokesmen for the RNC have told NBC News that the RNC never officially endorsed Kirk, in spite of such public statements as:

“I’m so excited about Mark Kirk and his race,” Steele said on a WLS radio show. “We were all kind of sitting around with bated breath as he was making his decision, a very personal decision, a family decision, to run for the Senate.”

and

"Congressman Kirk is an exceptional candidate and is clearly the frontrunner in this race," RNC spokeswoman Kirsten Kukowski told NBC. "This is a targeted race we plan to win and once Kirk wins the primary we will be fully engaged."

The RNC traditionally does not get involved in primaries, but, "the National Republican Senatorial Committee has endorsed Kirk."

The divorce-plagued Kirk, with questions about his marital failure circling around in a manner reminiscent of those that destroyed the senatorial campaign of Jack Ryan in Illinois, is a member of numerous 'moderate to liberal' "Republican"groups such as the Republican Main Street Partnership, the Republican Majority for Choice, Republicans for Choice, the Republican Leadership Council, and Republicans for Environmental Protection.

It is not clear how he reconciles his 'moderate to liberal'ism with his past public statements suggesting we could stem illegal immigration by sending millions of condoms to the poorer areas of Mexico to reduce their population, or his calls to shoot the governor of Illinois and Barack Obama, although it is claimed on the latter that he mean 'Osama' and simply mis-spoke.

He also claims that he voted for the Cap and Trade because "it was in the narrow interests of my district" but that if elected he would screw his district over anyway by voting against Cap and Trade in the Senate.

If the RNC and more importantly the NRSC with its checkbook back away from this backstabber, it would send an important message to the voters that the party has finally begun to favor competence over club membership.