Operation Gratitude Care Package Weekend!

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

THREE BEERS LATER EXCLUSIVE: Spunky Kentucky Dems Rally Around Exciting NEW candidate!

You would think that the withdrawal of deep thinker and outspoken progressive Ashley Judd from the 2014 Kentucky senatorial contest would have convinced the Democrats of that state of the futility of fielding a dynamic, charismatic challenger to encrusted GOP Mitch McConnell.

But you'd be wrong.  The Democrats have already found an absolutely thrilling young hopeful who is everything a progressive, liberal Dem could want in a candidate.

Three Beers Later is proud to introduce America to the next great hope of the Kentucky Democratic Party:
Only available picture of dynamic 
new candidate, courtesy

What is Kwame's background?  No one knows!  What are his positions on the issues?  Not a clue! His past associations?  A complete mystery!  His career accomplishments? An enigma wrapped in, in — another mystery!

And the neat thing is, there's no way anybody can challenge him on any of these, because the Federal Witness Protection Program isn't letting anybody talk to him, or even know where he currently is! So any embarrassing revelations or questions are completely off the table!

"This is just fucking brilliant," said David Axelrod, former Obama puppeteer. "When I think of all the time and trouble it would have saved us, seriously, I could fucking kick myself. Fuck!"  His MSNBC program then went to an early commercial.

However, in the tradition of shoeleather journalists everywhere, TBL was not about to be put off by a passel of over-gunned government flunkies.  We were not able to contact Kwame Mustafa X directly, but we did manage to get in touch with his sister, Chlamydia Shabazz X, dedicated community organizer, National Spokeswoman, Congress Of Racial Iniquity, East Coast Director, Southern Christian Organization for Retributionist Extortion,Regional Liaison, Surly Pack of Lesbian Combatants, at her current position as Diversity Supervisor at UC Berkeley:

"Ain't nobody got nothin' bad to say about my baby brother.  
No, Mistah Man,  I don't think you do understand.  
Ain't nobody got nothin' bad to say about my baby
brother, you good with that...?You have a nice election now."

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Californians Cock Snook, Fist at Feinstein!

Mickey "Scraps" Mikowski
CSM 2nd Michigan Citizens' Militia (Ret.)
is Three Beers Later's Special Guest 
Military Affairs Correspondent

Even as Harry Reid was scurrying away from the kitchen light and killing Dianne Feinstein's proposed Assault Weapons Ban as fast as his underworked gavel would let him, thousands of Californians were flocking to the Crossroads of the West Orange County Gun Show in  Costa Mesa, at the famous Orange County Fairgrounds.

The doors opened early and the lines started long as citizens showed up to grab every single bullet DHS hadn't optioned yet.

People Like Bullets 
Although the lines were long and the buying was heavy, there were signs that the hoard buying and fast and furious gun buys (get 'em while you still can) have peaked.  Ammo was available in quantities and a wide variety of calibers at the ammo tents and inside the halls the tables had an abundance of rifles little and big, old and new, brown, black and shiny, although oddly very few people seemed threatened by them.  The tables were full of high-cap magazines  (in CA?!) and other accessories, while word from the ammo manufacturers was that things might start opening up as soon as April.

The show even offered an exciting new commute option for people who read the news:

THE SURVIVAL TRUCK!  This armor-plated angel is the ultimate ride for the good citizen who wants to get gone and stay gone in style!
"Can I get that in a hybrid?"
"Why no, Sparky, no you can't..."

There were other odds and ends available at the show, from appropriately offensive T-Shirts and caps
 to larimar, a gemstone so rare that it is only mined one place on earth, in one square mile of the Dominican Republic.  I witnessed one gentleman as his girlfriend tried on a larimar piece and he didn't once mumble that she'd just hung the price of a perfectly good Smith and Wesson around her neck.  Good for him!

The gunshow crowd carries proudly on, undaunted.  You can sneer, and you can snort, but they'll still show up, with a ballot or a range card, whichever the world makes necessary.

Special Personal Message from CSM "Scraps":  People have asked me why I retired from the 2MCM.  Well, the fact is, with the Feds claiming veterans, Tea Partiers, gun owners, bloggers, Tweeters,Fox employees, small business owners, home schoolers, Christians, farmers who use water, people who breathe out CO2 and private practice physicians as right wing extremists whether they want to be or not, we're pretty much all in the militia again now, just like the Founding Fathers defined it... if not for quite the reasons they had in mind.  So the 2MCM is a bit redundant at this point.

People have also asked me whatever happened to the 1MCM.  To the best of my knowledge, he's still doing 90 days on that parking ticket warrant.

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