Rule 5 — Denise Milani — Because Your Lives Depend On It, Guys!

"German researchers establish that staring at women's breasts adds years to mens' lives..."

To Quote a Great American, Mike Huckabee Acted Stupidly... and Cowardly

Yes, Huck, virtuous women never get pregnant before marriage.  That's why no one ever heard the old saw Robert Heinlein liked to quote that "Everyone knows a willing bride can accomplish in six months what takes nine for cow or countess."


It has always happened to young women from good families of means.  And when those families had the moral courage to have and support the baby without casting the burden onto the community it has always been considered their own affair by all decent people outside the self-righteous old gossips (Ray Stevens' immortal "Sister Bertha Better-Than-You') Sitting in the "Amen Pew" at the front of the congregation... or ambitious, amoral louts seeking a political advantage.  After his behavior in the 2008 primary season, it's quite believable that Huckabee saw this as a clever backhanded swipe (From Portman to Bristol to Palin) at a significant political rival through two innocent young women along the way.


Not only that, it is an act of the most thunderous candy-assery.  First off, he lays this garbage on an intelligent, talented young woman who, by the way, can afford to have this child out of wedlock if she wants to with the fruits of her own hard work and give this child everything Huckabee condemns her for out of her own pocket.  Now what the hell business is it of any good conservative what Natalie Portman decides to do with her own damned wages?  None that I can see.


Then he gets it wrong.  Portman was engaged to be married, she and the baby's father are accepting their responsibility.  Something lacking in Huckabee's own checkered career.


This is just the latest in a long line of missteps by this incompetent cop-killing cracker who hides his own vanity behind the covers of his Bible and preaches virtue while stabbing his neighbors in the back.


In a smarter country than this one, it would be his last.  But since it's this country, let me spell it out in short words for Mike Huckabee and his backers.


Mike Huckabee will never be the President of the United States.


His issues don't matter.


His positions don't matter.


Even his lack of character doesn't matter.


If he runs he will be bathed in the blood of four dead policemen, if not by his rivals in the GOP primaries then by the Democrats in the general election.


Conservatives will not vote for a man who got cops killed because he confused his own pride with God's will.


Independents will not vote for a man who got cops killed for Jesus.


This is not like smoking pot in college, or having slept around before marriage.  People are dead because of Mike Huckabee.  And that will not go away, so he should.

It's 3AM... the doorbell rings...

Maria Christina Update 2

They've taken her off her blood pressure med entirely and they're steadily reducing the other medications she receives.

The surgery to close her chest is scheduled for today.

The doctors say she is not only doing well, she's doing EXTREMELY WELL.

I'm gonna beat Little Miss Attilah to this one...

In a post at The Other McCain yesterday, Robert Stacy McCain wrote of some guy named Charlie something that people are talking about for some reason: "The fact that Sheen is associating with women so far beneath him is rather a telltale signal of his fundamental problem..."

Stacy, what evidence do you offer that porn stars are "beneath" someone like this Charlie person... 

who has been accused of stabbing one wife... 

...threatening to behead another... 

...throwing hundreds of people out of work...

...and costing a major corporation hundreds of millions of dollars 

with his self-indulgent, narcissistic behavior?

Face it, you could make a better show than this Charlie guy's WITH 

porn stars...

In fact, you could make HIS show with porn stars...

Ask yourself this.  If your doorbell rang at three in the morning, would you rather it was Charlie Sheen or a Porn Star standing there?

Please Help!

HT: Piece of Work

Robert Stacy McCain Linked to Rash of Hollywood Twitter Pregnancies?

Following the sudden announcement of Alyssa Milano's pregnancy, a rash of celebrity pregnancies is sweeping Hollywood.  Natalie Portman has appeared at the Oscars in the family way, and actresses and celebrities including Marion Cotillard, Jewel, Rachel Zoe, Jennifer Connolly, Jane Krakowski, Jessica Alba, Victoria Beckham, Rachel Zoe, and Isla Fisher have all turned up embarrassée.  Coupled with the recent rash of celebrity births including Penelope Cruz, Jennifer Rowley, Gretchen Mol and Elton John, and it's clear that Hollywood is in the middle of a frenzy of fecundity.

And what do all these happy occasions have in common?  The phenomenal twitter powers of Robert Stacy McCain.  Ever since his successful twitter stalk of Alyssa Milano, sources close to the McCain camp say the confrontational conservative journalist has been on a tweeting frenzy, pinging ever showbiz figure who's been described as "hot" since Joyce DeWitt. 


"I'll tell you, I couldn't get out of the country fast enough," said one source close to McCain who asked not to be identified.  "It got weird. It just went on and on and on.  I'm amazed he can still bend his thumbs."


Plainly, this has been having an unexpected consequence or two.  Just as cell phones and high-tension lines are rumored to cause cancer, it seems the tweets of Robert Stacy McCain have long-term physical effects that have yet to be fully studied.


It is to be hoped that the responsible parties at Twitter will take swift and effective action before longterm damage is done to this nation's entertainment industry...

Good news, America!  Soon all your movies 

will look like England's!

For those of you who prayed for Christina Maria

The operation was apparently extremely successful.

Christina was born with a hyperplastic heart condition, in which, as this layman understands it, part of the heart was not fully developed.  She was lucky, however, in that the valve for the left side of her heart, though undersized, was functional and working, so she had much stronger circulation than most babies born with this condition.

She was operated on at UCLA Medical, and her chest will have to remain open for two days for the swelling from the surgery to go down, but the doctors are very satisfied and optimistic for her outcome.

One of the doctors told her family, "You're lucky she was born in this century."  I have no intention of belaboring her uncle, my coworker with politics, but I'll add she was lucky to be born in this year, before Obie's medical bureaucracy kicks in.

Your prayers and well-wishes are deeply appreciated.

Obama Addresses Union, Democrat Violence...

In a carefully planned speech of bipartisan outreach, Obama called on the GOP and Tea Party to stop provoking hardworking Democratic politicians and unions members  into attacking and threatening to kill them.

"And tell those sluts in the Wisconsin massage parlors to start dressing more modestly!" the tough-talking, inspirational leader of the free world said.  "We need all the Democratic State Assemblymen we've got!"

Foamy the Squirrel on Hollywood Diversity....

Fleebagger Wisconsin Democrat Lured Home by Clever GOP Ploy...

rule 5 — Pole Dancing Instructors Unleashed!

Will Big Tobacco Ruin Royal Hopes of an Oscar?

Call me cynical, but I suspect a lot of the Academy are going to take time off from wishing they were Charlie Sheen to demonstrate their moral fiber by passing over the superb "The King's Speech" because of all the — period and character-correct — smoking in it.

Anti-tobacco groups and academics such as those at the UC San Francisco as well as film review sites such as ScreenIt! have already pounced on the issue.  Even the Internet Movie Data Base warns of it.

In the midst of the current push to vilify any movie with smoking in by granting it an R-rating as MPAA policy, will this historical fact hurt a fine movie with today's shallow and ignorant Hollywood?