Operation Gratitude Care Package Weekend!

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Rule 5 -- Juliiana Moreira!

OK, think I fixed the PayPal button on the Rule 5 Special Offer...

Lemme know if I haven't.

Or just use the donate button to the right...

Friday, February 5, 2010

Rule 5 -- MItzi Gaynor!

Thursday, February 4, 2010

It's Dead, Jim...

Yeah, the hard drive on my Compaq is fried.  But I may be able to save the data... as soon as I have someplace to put it.  So check out my Rule 5 Special Offer and help a brother out, folks.  Otherwise 'those' Robert Stacy McCain/Ayla Brown pool pics are lost to the sands of time....

'Cuz seriously, mucho thanks to Deborah Leigh for the loaner but posting on this thing is like street racing on a donut spare...

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

A Rule 5 Special Offer!

My laptop done went and died on me.  I'm typing this on a little tiny borrowed Asus EEE and looking like a Russian circus bear on a tricycle as I type it.  Best case, I gotta replace the hard drive.  Worst case, might be "cheaper" to just buy a whole new laptop.

Either way involves cash I don't have right this moment.  Now at this point, I could just flat-out bleg (Hit the Tip Jar to Save the Three Beers Later Experience!)  and if you want to I sure won't say no, but as an eeeeevile conservative I feel honor-bound to put my faith in market forces first.

For a limited time only I'm  offering  autographed copies of my epic graphic novel The Invisible Dirty Old Man, for just $5.00 each and $2.85 shipping and handling.

Based on my screenplay for the epic movie that never got produced because the wannabe producers never told their wives what they were doing, The Invisible Dirty Old Man addresses those two universal questions, "What would you do if you knew no one could see you?" and "Does sex make you stupid?"

From the Amazon listing, where by the way used copies of this title are going for $34.95...
"Full color graphic novel with artwork by Brazil's outstanding Sequential Artists studio! The original Invisible Man's last living descendant, a dweebish science prof at a no-neck junior college inherits his ancestor's notorious formula and life on campus and around becomes extremely clothing-challeneged! Broad, bawdy comedy in the tradition of "Animal House" and "Benny Hill!""

And some reviews:

By kilmore@earthlink.net (Los Angeles, CA)
I was amazed at the super rich colors and terrific drawings done on heavy weight supergloss paper. I hope all comics look like this in the future. A multilayered treatise reminiscent of early Stan Lee. Bottom line: my senses were titillated; yet my morals were not offended.

"...nicely drawn fun, with lots of cheesecake." -- Bud Plant Comic Art
"Recommended Reading!" -- Parsec, the Canadian Science Fiction Magazine
By A Customer
The Invisible Dirty Old Man was a scream. It's definitely good for a lot of laughs -- and almost as many trips to the bathroom. I'm getting in line for the movie Now!

Truth in advertising:  while the movie would have been an 'R', the graphic novel itself is effectively  PG-13. 

 So help a vast right-wing conspirator out here, willya?  It's the cheapest way going to piss off a social con!  Do it for America! Do it for the First Amendment!  Do it for Juliana Moreira and Denise Milani!  Do it for a bigger hard-drive!  And do it today!

Monday, February 1, 2010

I Need Some Advice Desperately...

...how the hell do I parody THIS": (HT: Interesting News)


IPCC Defends Use of Divination

NEW YORK CITY, NY - A spokesman for the UN's Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change has defended the panel's use of divination to forecast melting glaciers in the Andes. Said Sanjuk Patel, "We employed an Augur who watched the flight of various birds. By studying the birds' formation, he was able to predict that global warming was melting glaciers in the Andes. This man is credentialed at an important Augury school. What more do you need?" Answering his own question, Patel said the Augur's work was subjected to robust peer-review. "A Chinese sorcerer dropped a handful of magic sticks. When he picked them up, they all pointed in the direction of Chile." In addition, a man who dowses for water was asked by Patel whether the Andes' glaciers were melting. He felt it was probably so. "It's not like we pull this information out from between our hams," said Patel. "Global warming is too vital an issue to be left to chance."

Barack Obama: "George Bush has been sneaking back into Washington...

...and adding stuff to the laws'n'stuff while the decent folk were sleeping."  Take for example this passage from his "discussion" with the GOP congressmembers  that somehow didn't get a lot of press...

"If you look at the package that we've presented -- and there's some stray cats and dogs that got in there that we were eliminating, we were in the process of eliminating. For example, we said from the start that it was going to be important for us to be consistent in saying to people if you can have your -- if you want to keep the health insurance you got, you can keep it, that you're not going to have anybody getting in between you and your doctor in your decision making. And I think that some of the provisions that got snuck in might have violated that pledge."

Now on earth could that have happened if EEEEEVILE GEORGE BUSH hadn't been sneaking back into the Congressmen's offices by night  and adding stuff when nobody was looking?  Surely the Democrats of the most open and transparent Administration EVER would NEVER have been going behind the back of Barack Obama to undercut his agenda!  Why, he's the President!
"Look harder, everyone!  George Bush could be anywhere!"
And don't tell me George Bush wouldn't pull a stunt like that.  Look at all the other things he's done when Barack Obama wasn't looking:

George Bush pimped Barney Frank to  the head of Fannie Mae and forced that poor misunderstood gay man to hawk  his garbage, unrecoverable mortgages to the banks.

He threatened to kill Chris Dodd's kitten unless he took that Countrywide mortgage.

George Bush hacked the .doc file to the Stimulus Bill and changed the words 'DON'T spend' to 'spend'...every time.

He broke into the Nancy Pelosi's office on Christmas Eve and stole the real vote tallies on the Health Care Bill.  The truth is, NO Democrat voted for it ('C'mon, guys, we haven't even read this turkey!'), but George Bush is just that evil.

When Barack Obama was pondering the future of a peaceful Afghanistan, George Bush locked him out in the Rose Garden and used his bootleg Presidential seal to send 35,000 more troops to Afghanistan.  (He would have sent the whole 40,000 but Dick Cheney convinced him fiddling with the number would piss off the left AND the right).
"Dammit, Bush, you put those Marines down right this minute!"

When Obama visited Japan, Bush told him to bend over and pretend to barf on the Emperor's shoes.  
"They really love that kind of down-home humoratin'!"

The man's like a freaking Texas Ninja!  There's just no keeping him out!  Plainly, George Bush should never be allowed anywhere near Washington DC or the Obama White House again.   Those folks are just too damned naive and impressionable...

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