Soiled and spoiled sports star Tiger Woods today acknowledged a sexual fling with Congressman Bart Stupak, who sold out his alleged commitment to the pro-life movement for less than a million dollars' worth of asphalt runways in his district.
"It was really kind of inevitable," said the perverted pro golfer. "I mean, a whore is a whore. I pretty much had to take a shot at it."
Woods acknowledged that he was in the middle of an ongoing long-term affair with the entire Democratic Congress. "Look, they showed how cheap, how easy they were. They just put it right out there. It's not like I was the only one going for it."
Woods refused to commit on exacrtly how many Representatives he had had sex with so far. He was more forthcoming on specific individuals. Dennis Kucinich? "Oh, you mean Squeaky?" Pat Kennedy? "Boy brought his own roofies, damn." Maxine Waters, Diane Watson? Woods paused. "I try not to have sex outside my own race. But I don't want to discriminate." Nancy Pelosi? A sigh, "It's going to come to that, eventually. I mean, it's a question of how far you're willing to go..."
