Operation Gratitude Care Package Weekend!

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Rule 5 — Juliana Moreira!

Monday, December 27, 2010


So I called Delta Customer Service this morning to check my flight status.  I suspect I may not have been the first...

Sunday, December 26, 2010


 Things have taken a grim turn at the McEnroe storm redoubt.  The pizzerias aren't delivering and the men are reduced to desperate forays out back in the darkness and gale-force winds to scavenge non-alcoholic beers from the over-drifted porch cache as the blizzard claws at the siding.

The food situation is becoming awkward.  Certain parties have been caught staring at the plumper nieces and nephews and fingering the matched set of Ginsu carving knives on the kitchen counter.

I will try to keep this journal going for as long as my last real beer holds out.

I'm saying a prayer, John, I'm saying a prayer for the whole world...


Things have taken a turn for the worse at the McEnroe household.  The liquor remains buried in the snow out back, and roaming packs of polar bears, angry at not being declared endangered, are intercepting even 4WD deliveries from the beer distributor...

...while the icy winter hell contiues to stalk suburbia...
...and we're forced to burn limbs off our wooden Al Gore Collectible Cigar Store Indian (A Franklin Mint Collectible!) for warmth.  We're assuming it's our cigar store Al... anyway, it stopped fighting and screaming after the second limb...


Three branches of the family have regathered in one house to share heat and eke out survival via massed Christmas leftovers.

The relatives are reacting with suprising harmony and self-control. Yes, the dog has been killed, but at least it was properly skinned and hung outside to air-freeze pending need.

There has been a brief argument as someone just realized the leftover beer and wine was left out on the back deck and is now buried in snow, but so far hostilities have not brok

An Irish American Christmas Song...

Saturday, December 25, 2010

I gave my snowman viagra...

It's July and the sumbitch still ain't melted.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Rule 5 — Spandex Christmas!

BREAKING NEWS! Barack Obama Switching Parties!

Following the defection of two African-American Congressmen from the Democrats to the Republican Party down in Georgia, Obama's own forced accommodation of the GOP on the Bush tax rates, the catastrophic defeat of the 'Porkulus' Omnibus bill, and the decisive repudiation  of the DREAM Act immigration amnesty bill in the Senate, the President has declared his intention to cross the aisle in the hopes of getting something done in the last years of his troubled first term...

'It has become increasingly self-evident that only an Administration working in concert 
with an effective, uncorrupted Congressional leadership that pays close attention to the will 
of the American people has any hope of meaningful and lasting achievement on behalf of 
this great nation.  To that end I am renouncing my affiliation with the Democratic —
Hey, wait a minute!  This isn't my script!  I never approved this!  Who wrote this?

Friday, December 17, 2010

Jeff Dunham, Walter & The Baby Jesus....!

...All stand up for these folks!


President embraces Bush tax reforms; collapse of Democrat pork surge...

"We must steer this great nation back from the
 tragic mistakes of 2006 and my admini —
Hey, this isn't my teleprompter..."

"Yeah. I'm that good..."

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Mars Needs ... OI GEVALT! ZANEK!

Sophisticated Rendition of Alleged Israeli UFO Incident

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

One of those days...

Getting nibbled to death by ducks....


The Supreme Court ruled there cannot be a nativity
scene in Washington, DC this Christmas. This isn't for
any religious or constitutional reason; they simply
have not been able to find three wise men and a virgin
in the nation's capital. There was no problem,
however, finding enough asses to fill the stable.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Friday, December 10, 2010

Obama provides Party clown for WH Press Corps!

Doesn't want reporters to feel neglected while he goes to fancy party,
says Gibbs

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Obama says: "I expect this tax deal to improve the economy..."

"...but the GOP had to hold the American people hostage to make me do it."

Who. Writes. His. Stuff.

Monday, December 6, 2010


... You know, all us rich folk who stand on street corners...

... and for the record, yes, I have a job, and I'm starting my own business.  If anything, I'm OVERemployed.

Just underpaid.

'Cuz We All Need a Little Perspective, Now and Then...

And yes, 11C dismount sucks donkey dick.

HT: Theo Sparks

The Mind Boggles...

Democratic shill Mark Halperin thinks he knows exactly what Obama needs to get his mojo back...a little "luck" in the form of a terrorist attack or some other national tragedy.


Is there anyone — even Chris Matthews or Joy Behar — who can even imagine this scene:

— with Barack Obama standing in George Bush's place?

That kind of 'luck' we don't need... and it won't save Barack Obama.

Hey, TSA! Feel up THIS guy!

The place is such a mess of sheer death the authorities are going to try to burn it down in place rather than disarm and remove each item.

"Location, location, location..."

Sunday, December 5, 2010

A Muslim Christmas Carol!

Deck the streets with burning Fiats,
Allahu-akbar, aharharhar!
Just to light the evening riots!
Allahu-akbar, aharharhar!

Semtex bombs will end all quarrel!
Allahu-akbar, aharharhar!
Peace comes from an AK barrel!
Allahu-akbar, aharharhar!

Build we now a wall so thick,
ak-a-bar, ak-a-bar! Harharhar!
Just to squash those gay folks slick!
Allahu-akbar, aharharhar!

Kill a man for making movies!
Allahu-akbar, aharharhar!
The BBC still finds you groovy!
Allahu-akbar, aharharhar!

Fatwa a man for drawing toons!
Allahu-akbar, aharharhar!
Then gripe when we call you loons!
Allahu-akbar, aharharhar!

Slit your daughters throats for virtue,
ak-a-bar, ak-a-bar! Harharhar!
Then complain we just don't getchu!
Allahu-akbar, aharharhar!

Rule 5 — Juliana Moreira!

Rule 5 -- Happy, Uh, Feet! Group Aerobics!

Friday, December 3, 2010


19 straight months of unemployment above 9.4% (calculated, we ALL know it's higher) beats 16 months of 1983-84!  And no end to Obama's glorious streak in sight!

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Important Message from Operation Grattitude: Please Read and Forward!

Website Banner-2
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE                                  
Organization Celebrates Shipment of 600,000 Care Packages to Troops
Volunteers and Supporters:
All across the country, we will have cause to celebrate on Saturday, December 11, 2010 as the 600,000th Operation Gratitude Care Package rolls off the assembly line at the National Guard Armory in Van Nuys, California!

Director of Operations Charlie Othold expects the milestone 600,000th package to hit the assembly line around 11:15 a.m. PST, to the cheers of up to 1,000 volunteers, Military members, 
legislators, and celebrities.

In addition to standard items and personal letters provided by more than 250 Corporate donors and by all of you, the 600,0
00th Care Package will include a classically American surprise generously donated by one of our Corporate Partners. A special delivery of the 600,000th Package is being arranged.  Five previous Operation Gratitude milestone packages contained the keys to new vehicles.
The five winners of the online Halloween "Guess the Candy Weight 2010 Contest," will also be announced and awarded their great prizes.  The contest remains open to enter through December 5.OG Group
Military and political dignitaries, along with representatives from many of the organization's Corporate Sponsors, will join the Operation Gratitude volunteers to assemble thousands of troop gifts in addition to the 600,000th Care Package.  Delicious product samples and a hearty lunch will be provided by Corporate and local business donors.

Volunteers (ages 12 years and up) are invited to assist in the on-site care package activities.

 Financial Donations are still needed to pay the assembly and postage costs of $15 per care package.  Please ensure that every Soldier, Sailor, Airman and Marine deployed in harm's way, far from home, feels loved and appreciated this holiday season.   Every tax deductible donation of $15 sends another care package, personally addressed to an American hero, and filled with 50+ assorted snack, entertainment and personal care items valued at $100 or more. 
Online donations can be made here: Donate
Donations by check can be made payable and mailed to:
Operation Gratitude
16444 Refugio Road
Encino, California 91436

WHAT:  Operation Gratitude Volunteers assemble the 600,000th Care Package

WHEN:  Saturday, December 11, 2010
            Care Package Assembly starts at 9 a.m.
            The 600,000th Package Assembly and Celebration will occur: 11 a.m. - 12:30 p.m.

California National Guard Armory
               17330 Victory Boulevard 
               Van Nuys, CA  91406 

               Corner of Victory and Louise; parking available on adjacent lot

For additional volunteer information: Volunteer 

To learn how you can help:  Support Activities

Donate while you shop: Great Ideas

To Request Care Packages for Deployed Troops: Request Packages
About Operation Gratitude
Operation Gratitude annually sends 100,000+ care packages filled with snacks, entertainment items andpersonal letters of appreciation addressed to individually named U.S. Service Members deployed in harm's way. The organization's mission is to lift morale, bring a smile to a service member's face and express to our Armed Forces the appreciation and support of the American people. Each package contains donated product valued at ~$125 and costs the organization $15 to assemble and ship. For safety and security, assembling of packages occurs at the Army National Guard armory in Van Nuys, California. Since its inception in 2003, Operation Gratitude volunteers have shipped more than 595,000 packages to American Military deployed overseas.  The 600,000th package will be assembled and shipped on December 11, 2010.

Learn more about Operation Gratitude by visiting:
Operation Gratitude
Pam Campeau

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Saturday, November 27, 2010

Friday, November 26, 2010

Rule 5 — Black Friday!




Thursday, November 25, 2010

Turkey Terrorist Attack at Major Sporting Event!

One day a year of action is not enough to safeguard our nation from the turkey threat!

The Ways of the Fathers that Bore Us... the WKRP Turkey Drop!

Happy Thanksgiving!

WKRP Turkey Drop from Mitch Cohen on Vimeo.

Monday, November 22, 2010


300 US troops detained by TSA pissant in Indianapolis...

HT: The Muqta

One of these things is not like the other...

List of Information, Implication and Insinuation

Three Beers Later!

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