Obama Announces Formation of Department of Homeland Security Mole Patrol!

Newly enrolled DHS vermin pass in review

for the President, aka Rat Six... (AP Wirephoto)

From the Office of the President, The White House:

"America is facing a serious debt crisis.  We have incurred massive amounts of debt, every penny of which can be laid at the feet of George Bush, and we are going to need to incur more  before my vision of what this country can be realized.

"We require cash in hand to make this country work.  Of course we will need taxes, more taxes of the kind I hear from decent hardworking Americans every day they want to pay, are eager to pay.  But that won't be enough.  We are implementing plans to convert 401(k) plans into government accounts that have every chance of paying off.  But that won't be enough.

"Billions of dollars are being taken out this economic by self-centered hoarders, putting good American currency into precious metals, hiding that money away from their fellow Americans.  Some of them even make jokes about it, about how they're 'hiding American Eagles in coffee cans in the back yard.'

"Well, that kind of greed is unacceptable in America today.  Not when there are banks that need bailing out, investment companies that need close government support, and good patriotic Democratic Americans waiting for that next government check.

"So today, Secretary Napolitano and I are announcing the deployment of the ObaMole Corps, specially trained volunteers who will patrol the yards and gardens of America, looking for these greedy holdouts, exposing their self-interest, and making those hoarded resources available to do the work America needs done.

"To date, their initial operations have liberated nearly four million dollars in gold, silver and jewels.  They have also uncovered nearly two million rounds of ammunition that will be put to good use combating violent extremism in this country.

"Remember, America, my Administration is not simply looking out for you, it is looking out under you.  So watch the ground.  Keep watching the ground!"