Operation Gratitude Care Package Weekend!

Showing posts with label jamil. Show all posts
Showing posts with label jamil. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Breaking Afghanistan News: Cheney Denies All Knowledge of Smitty!











Jamil al-Taqqiyah is a fiery young nonpartisan
journalist who regularly reports
for NBC, Al-Jazeera and the BBC.
Three Beers Later is proud to offer him
his first blogging venue.





Notorious former Vice President Dick Cheney today disavowed any knowledge of Lt. Commander Smitty, late of Afghanistan and back at his nominal post at The Other McCain:
"WHAT THE F***?!  Who have you been talking to?
Where did you hear that s***?  You WILL tell me..."
Cheney denied reports that Smitty had in fact been part of a crucial action in the Afghan theatre, as part of an elite detachment from Seal Team Hat Size Six, the covert special operations unit repeatedly outed by principled leftwing bloggers as the Vice President's personal assassination squad, but since redeemed in the public eye of all decent Americans by President for Life Obama's willingness to let them assist Our Glorious Leader in his heroic take-down of Osama bin Laden.
Mothers, look away, for this is Death,
naked.
Lt. Commander Smith, seen below on the prow of his personal flagship, led a spirited naval action that comprehensively reduced the Taliban's naval capacity in the Afghan mountain districts.
No less distinguished a publication than "Soundings", the journal of the American Naval Institute, writes, "Not since the heroic transvestites of the Royal Navy drove the Kaiser's fleets from Lake Tanganyika during the First World War to give us a great Humphrey Bogart movie has a naval exploit had such an inexplicable impact."
Below, the gallant officer explains his triumph in his own inimitable words: 
When asked what such an indomitable warrior as this unstoppable killing engine might be doing back in the United States, Cheney merely replied coyly: "With an asset like Smitty, I imagine you wouldn't send him somewhere his skills weren't needed..."

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

SHOCK HORROR! RAAAAACIST AUSTRALIANS DEPLOY SECRET JEW ROBOTS AGAINST INNOCENT TALIBAN!

A Special Three Beers Later Guest Report by Noted and Not-at-All biased Middle Eastern Correspondent Jamil al-Taqqiyah!


















Jamil al-Taqqiyah is a fiery young nonpartisan journalist who regularly reports for NBC, Al-Jazeera and the BBC.  Three Beers Later is proud to offer him his first blogging venue.


The Sinister insidious flying spies are intended to locate concentrations of Taliban, denying them their Constitutionally-protected First Amendment rights to freely assemble and call for the death of their neighbors. 

Although the perfidious Austrialian imperialist crusaders claim the drones will only be used for reconnaissance, the fact that the Zionist murder birds can carry up to 250kg of 'payloads' means the sons of transported convicts will surely outfit their Secret Jew Robots with the sort of Secret Jew Rockets Israel uses to target rusting, abandoned ambulances in Gaza... again, we call on Attorney General Holder to assert his authority and put a stop to these flagrant abuses of internationlly-recognized law-enforcement procedure...

Monday, November 9, 2009

Infidel Cartoonist Chris Muir Inflames the Arab Street!

A Special Three Beers Later Guest Report by Noted and Not-at-All biased Middle Eastern Correspondent Jamil al-Taqqiyah
















Jamil al-Taqqiyah is a fiery young nonpartisan
journalist who regularly reports
for NBC, Al-Jazeera and the BBC.
Three Beers Later is proud to offer him
his first blogging venue.

The heretic cartoonist Christopher Muir has jeopardized American relations with the Arab world by his shameless exploitation of female nudity in his so-called "comic" strip!


It is bad enough that he flouts the strictest laws firm benevolent guidance of the Holy Quran, by depicting the human form at all, a blatant act of idolatry...










Or that he treats sex as sport for humor, rather than a grimly serious obligation for any decent woman...










He even goes so far as to indulge in lewd double entendres, tricking virtuous men into sinning in their own minds!










The infidel even advocates shameless women prepare themselves to resist the will of men, by force if they so choose...








But truly,Muir's greatest sin of all is...





...I thought I always liked Jan best...!

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Whatcha gonna do with all that junk...?











Jamil al-Taqqiyah is a fiery young nonpartisan journalist who regularly reports for NBC, Al-Jazeera and the BBC. Three Beers Later is proud to offer him his first blogging venue. We hope to retain his services in spite of this recent trauma...

My eyes ! My EYES! Allah preserve me, this apalling woman has stolen my penis with her horrible fashion sense!

Why, oh why, was my petition for release from Gitmo granted? What did I ever do to Donald Rumsfeld?

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Has the President Lost the Arab Street...?

















Jamil al-Taqqiyah is a fiery young nonpartisan
journalist who regularly reports
for NBC, Al-Jazeera and the BBC.
Three Beers Later is proud to offer him
his first blogging venue.

It is difficult for a nonbeliever to recognize what a proud moment it was for all of Islam in all its great world centers -- the Middle East, Indonesia, Africa, Holland, Britain, Sweden, Michigan -- when my (very) distant cousin Bari al-Taqqiyah stood up before the faithful and apologized for the many sins of the Great Satan and the perfidious Jews Zionists.














It was even charming when he pretended to forget the words of his speech for a moment, when a small machine near the podium fell over...

Yet, in all the days since his Cairo speech, the Arab world has noted a disturbing lack of any real action on the part of America's first truly devout President, that leads many to wonder if perhaps this great Democrat has not been entirely honest with us, unlikely as it may seem.


To this day, not one American bomb has fallen on one perfidious Jew Zionist....



Not one American tank has rolled through one perfidious Jew Zionist settlement...













And yet Americans keep bombing and shelling the crap out of our holy warriors in Afghanistan, no matter how many of our own women and children we hide behind...

Clearly, to a less charitable mind than my own, there could well be some sort of double standard here...

This concern might be allayed, somewhat, by Bari al-Taqqiyah's professed respect for Islamic culture. It is difficult to describe the wave of joy and enthusiasm that flowed through the women of Islam (it better have, ha-ha) when Bari declared that his Justice department would defend the wearing of the hijab. But if this matter is of such personal importance to him --

WHY DOES HE PERMIT HIS WOMAN TO EXPOSE HERSELF IN PUBLIC?! Assuming lewd postures in revealing clothing! Inflaming the faithful with naughty thoughts and sinful desires! Is this proper behavior of a first wife to the First Dhimmi of the Great Satan?!



Ya habibi.
Seriously. Burqa.
It's not just the law --
it's a bloody
good idea.





If cousin Bari cannot attend to important issues like this, it is becoming difficult to believe he might give lesser matters any more serious thought.



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