Wells had it right...

So the BP well explodes.
So we are assured a bazillion jillion megagallons of crude oil are going to flood the gulf.
We are promised that it is going to ooze around Florida and up the East Coast like the freaking Blob.
We are WARNED, by EXPERTS, that eeeeevil BP has probably cracked the whole foundation of the Gulf and the entire seabed is going to collapse in an ecological disaster of Biblical proportions.
Nothing we can do, and we proved this by trying to do nothing, seems to check the crisis.
The military fails.  Science is baffled.  Thousands flee.  Obama takes a 10 handicap...

And now we can't find the oil.  Because, apparently, bacteria ate it, like they've been eating oil in the gulf for millions of years.

"...slain, after all man's devices had failed, by
the humblest things that God, in his wisdom, has put upon this earth."

Maybe this will lay a little humble on all our so-called experts.

51 Days into Obama's Oil Well Triumph...

Millions of feet of oil-booms are sitting unused in a warehouse.
The Dutch offered to send a fleet of oil-recovery boats over six weeks ago. Obama turned them down.

A revolutionary idea to save the Gulf Coast...

BP:  Friday or the weekend before we know if the 'top kill' well-head filling project works or not.

Well, I for one find it immensely reassuring that the finest minds of this Administration and the elite of the British petrochemical industry only took 36 days to come up with the groundbreaking strategy of shoveling mud into a hole.

Plainly, golf courses and campaign fundraisers are where our leaders do their best thinking...

Obama Solves Energy Crisis!

Enthusiastically toadying to Presidente Calderon of Mexico, the kleptocratic sock puppet of a failed state on our Southern border (and I don't mean California), Barack Obama announced that "our shared values transcend our shared borders... and since our borders are being transcended anyway, I've ordered the Navy to re-occupy the Vera Cruz oil fields.  This will dramatically reduce our dependence on foreign oil and end the need for offshore drilling..."

US Navy alleviating domestic energy crisis, Vera Cruz, Mexico

SNOUT STUCK INTO OIL DISASTER

Henry "the Snout" Waxman, along with Bart ("Dead Babies are Bad, OK, dead babies are not so bad, er, hey, look at the pretty airports!") Stupac, have found out Halliburton worked on the exploded drilling rig in the Gulf.

Fresh from his triumphal attempt to investigate major corporations' health care write-offs, in which Waxman revealed that not only did he not understand the law they were obeying, but that he didn't even know it was a law he had voted for, Waxman is now promising to grill Halliburton on the technical details of an operation he is completely unfamiliar with in a field in which he has no education, experience or understanding.

Of course, as a 40-year Congressman, that covers pretty much any field, but face it, Halliburton could tell the Snout that they mixed a triple helping of fairy dust into the concrete to make sure it held and he would have no way of credibly challenging that assertion.  He hasn't even got the expertise to intelligently choose experts to challenge anything Halliburton might assert.

This is just another time-waster for the Congress and Halliburton, a money-waster for the American people, and a credibility-waster for the American press who will treat this like some kind of significant investigation.