Heley,Scott in South Carolina Landslide for Tea Party and Conservatives!

Now let me get this straight: Republicans in South Carolina, the slave state, the racist state, the nasty inbred Baptist redneck state,the state that fired the first shot in the Civil War... just selected an Indian woman and an African-American man to be their candidates,  while the Democrats voted overwhelmingly for...a felony sex offender.

"What the f***?No, I mean it,seriously,WHAT THE F***?!"

An Important Announcement from Three Beers Later...

I wish to go unequivocally on record as having never had sex with Nikki Haley.  In fact, I have never had relations with anybody or anything from South Carolina that I am sober enough to recall (there were, however, some incidents in Columbus, Georgia that come under the heading "What happens on VD Drive stays on VD drive"...)

However, in updating my restraining orders calendar, I find that I would be free to respond to a  suboena immediately upon the expiration of my TRO obligations to Penelope Cruz and Cote de Pablo, and it would brighten my resumé considerably....